


Renovatio

by Ensign_Conners



Category: Pacific Rim (2013), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-22
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-30 03:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ensign_Conners/pseuds/Ensign_Conners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard is ten years old and terrified, staring up at a beast that he never believed could exist, no matter how many times he saw them on the holovids. To see it before him, real and in detail, to smell the stench of it, to hear that deafening cry, to feel the ground tremble beneath his feet... it would drive a man into insanity. It had many times before so when Leonard sits safe in the Alaska jaeger base medbay hours later, shivering uncontrollably, he wonders when exactly he will lose himself to madness or if it has already begun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Renovatio

**Author's Note:**

> So, this all started when I saw a Jim/Bones manip of them being jaeger pilots. It was before I saw the movie, so when I did see the movie, I was like "Yes, this has to happen!"
> 
> It's definitely different from the movie in a lot of ways, but also the same in others. I've added things and moved some facts around, but yeah, for those who haven't seen the movie, it won't be a big deal.
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about it once all is said and done, but I do hope you all enjoy my fic. =)
> 
> Massive thanks go to foxycasbones, my beta! And to all the people over at J&B chat who helped me crank this story out.
> 
> \---
> 
> Wonderful art was done by Cruixe-chan over at LJ: http://cruixe-chan.livejournal.com/83687.html
> 
> And I did my own fanmix over at 8tracks: https://8tracks.com/alindsayc/renovatio-fanmix

 

In 2013, a massive earthquake hits out in the Pacific Ocean. The media is on it immediately and scientists are speculating wildly. No one expects what comes out of the ocean and attacks San Francisco nor do they know that there will be more.

 

The monsters that climb out are given the name kaiju. Giant godzilla-like creatures intent on death and destruction. Their point of origin traces back to the depths of the Pacific Ocean where a rift has opened between humanity's world and theirs. Humans try many things to break the link between worlds, but nothing works and the kaiju become a bigger problem.

 

It takes a while to find effective means to fight back, one that doesn't make the land uninhabitable, and it comes in the form of the Jaeger program. It starts in Hong Kong and spreads to Alaska. Jaegers, massive robotic suits designed to engage the kaiju in combat, are perfected with experience.

 

Two pilots drive one suit, sharing their thoughts and memories to become a simultaneous team in a process called drifting. With the jaegers being so massive it is important that the neural load be shared between two people in order to control the suit. It makes them strong, makes them fight better, makes them unstoppable.

 

That is until the kaiju start getting stronger and faster and bigger. They arrive in larger numbers, numbers the jaeger pilots can't compete against.

 

The focus soon turns desperately back to closing the rift and to building a massive weaponized wall around the Pacific Rim to keep the kaiju out.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

In his dreams, Leonard sees the kaiju vividly, towering above him swathed in both darkness and iridescent blue light. It screams into the sky, clawed hands tearing through the earth, solid concrete, and metal like butter. It is completely unholy and he thinks that nothing could possibly stop this.

 

Leonard is ten years old and terrified, staring up at a beast that he never believed could exist, no matter how many times he saw them on the holovids. To see it before him, real and in detail, to smell the stench of it, to hear that deafening cry, to feel the ground tremble beneath his feet... it would drive a man into insanity. It had many times before so when Leonard sits safe in the Alaska jaeger base medbay hours later, shivering uncontrollably, he wonders when exactly he will lose himself to madness or if it has already begun.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard jolts awake on a gasp, his heart racing in his chest. It takes a few minutes, like always, for him to regulate his breathing. He tells himself he is no longer ten years old, that he isn't that boy anymore. He's grown now, he's okay, and he's about as safe as anyone could ever hope to be in the world of today. The last one is not a very comforting thought.

 

He looks around his drab steel-walled quarters blearily before swinging his legs over the side of his bed. His elbows go straight to his knees and his face into his hands where fingers dig painfully into his eyes trying to dispel the last of the dreams. It's hard to call them nightmares. Everything is a nightmare these days. To dream of the past is almost a relief from the ever mounting fear.

 

Most of those left on the Alaska jaeger base are either resigned to what's coming or still trying to fight the good fight. Leonard is one of the resigned. It's hard not to be in the face of the mounting kaiju occurrences and coinciding category readings. They are all in over their heads now, jaeger pilots dropping like flies, and all attempts at breaking the portal between their world and whatever hellish scape the kaiju come from failures.

 

It certainly doesn't mean he stops caring. He continues to do his job and while he hasn't gone out on the field for three years, he still perfects the neural network and logistics programs for the jaegers, even helps with basic repairs when all the other techs are swamped. Of course, that was when they'd had thirty jaegers in the holding bay at a time, now they only have two left, not counting the few left in Hong Kong and the one in Germany.

 

Once upon a time he'd been apart of the EMS division of jaeger suits along with his father. The medical jaegers were about two thirds the size of the battle jaegers and were sent out on the field for emergency suit repairs or pilot retrievals (a rare situation as most pilots were engaged in battle to their last breaths). It wasn't unheard of for an EMS suit to engage in combat, pilots were given minimal training in case of dire circumstances, but it was strongly discouraged. EMS suits that tangoed with kaiju were usually guaranteed a swift death.

 

Leonard had only drifted in one EMS suit with his father. Their bond was strong, as most family bonds tended to be, and allowed for them to be an effective response team. They'd held strong in their position as best EMS jaeger in the fleet until David McCoy's illness had forced him into bed, no longer fit to pilot. The disease that had been festering away in him for almost two years ratcheted his pain into unmanageable levels. Leonard knew, he'd been able to feel it every day that he'd drifted with his father. He'd known David's suffering and his father had known Leonard's fear for him.

 

The day David had been diagnosed marked the beginning of Leonard's doomed bid to find a cure. He'd worked with doctors all over the world, even tried to use his vast understanding of neural pathways in hopes of finding something they could work with.

 

In the end, he'd stood by that awful pristine-white medical bed as David McCoy begged for relief, imploring his only son to stop his pain. Leonard's heart had thundered in his chest, his throat constricted in grief, all of him unshakably certain that this was a request he could not carry out. Yet, looking into his father's sunken eyes and knowing the hell he lived in, unable to imagine dealing with a pain stronger than what he'd felt in their last drift, forced him to do as he was asked.

 

Two weeks later they found a cure, and well... Leonard was never really the same.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Jim Kirk swings his legs off the side of the scaffolding he's perched on, half a crummy turkey sandwich clutched in one hand. His blue eyes look out to the South China sea, so much of it visible from this high up. The wall to keep the kaiju out has to be massive and he is working on one of the last sections to be completed.

 

Jim never imagined he'd be working construction, not after the life he'd led before. He'd been a jaegar pilot five years ago, one of the best. He'd envisioned going out in a blaze of glory with his older brother, Sam, beside him in their jaegar, The Enterprise, or holding out until they found a way to shut the rift. Instead his brother was killed by a category three kaiju when its clawed hand had slashed through the head of the suit and hooked his brother right out of his pilot apparatus. It had hands-down been the worst moment of his life, and the rage he'd felt had carried into the Enterprise's plasma cannon. He'd left the kaiju to sink into the ocean, head cleaved in two. And while it was extremely dangerous for a pilot to command a jaegar alone, Jim had done it until he was able to reach shore.

 

The rest was a blur of grief and loss, but he'd eventually found a modicum of peace with it all. He and Sam had talked about the possibility of each others' deaths enough times over the years. Drifting as they had for so long, it became unspoken, the deep love and understanding between them. They were the only family they had after losing their pilot father in his own kaiju battle when Jim was born, and later their civilian mother in a kaiju attack on Los Angeles when he was nine.

 

Pilot or not though, similar tragic stories riddled the world they lived in. With so many loved ones killed by the kaiju, it compelled Jim to do what he could to help as long as it didn't involve piloting a jaegar.

 

That all changes when the wall is attacked.

 

He sees the kaiju coming in the distance but the alarm is already blaring before he can utter a warning. He scrambles down level after level with the others to get to the underground bunker, the first blows to the incomplete wall raining concrete and metal down on them as well as the occasional screaming worker. It's horrifying and awful but he can only feel anger. Anger so strong he wants to run out before the kaiju like a fool and swear its death. He feels utterly useless in that moment and for the first time since Sam's death he wishes to be in the Enterprise, delivering brutal punches and fatal plasma rounds.

 

It's why when Christopher Pike, head of the Jaeger Program, approaches him in the aftermath and asks him to return as a pilot, he accepts.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard hears about Kirk all over the base, how the Enterprise protege has returned and he's looking for a co-pilot.

 

He can't say he's too surprised when said protege slides into the chair across from him in the mess hall at breakfast a couple days later, cheery grin on his lips.

 

“Bones!”

 

Leonard scowls deeply, giving Kirk a sour look. “Excuse me?”

 

Kirk snorts in disbelief. “You forgot about me?”

 

Leonard rolls his eyes. “No, only hoping you'd forgotten that stupid nickname.”

 

Kirk chuckles and takes a bite from the apple in his hand. Leonard scowls even more if that's possible when the blond chews and talks. “You were the first EMS tech on the scene when I crashed on the shore. All I remember is you bitching about my broken bones. What can I say, it stuck.”

 

“Doesn't that mean I should call _you_ Bones?” He grouses, before muttering, “More like _bonehead_.”

 

Kirk pouts at him, but shrugs it off a second later. He leans forward, sets his apple down, and eyes Leonard. “I swear you've only gotten hotter since the last time I saw you.”

 

Leonard glares at him and leans back some, trying to head off the warm flush he can feel building. “Keep it in your pants, Kirk.”

 

Kirk gives a chuckle and steals the last strip of Leonard's bacon.

 

“Get your own breakfast, damn it!” Leonard growls, yanking his tray towards himself and boxing it in his arms.

 

Kirk nibbles on the pilfered bacon with a sad face. “I already ate mine. It wasn't enough.”

 

“Not my problem,” he says and a vengeful part of him snakes an arm out and smacks the rest of the bacon out of Kirk's hand.

 

The blond yelps and gasps as the bacon hits the floor. He seems to be struck speechless as he turns to Leonard with horror in his eyes.

 

“I'm sure you could do without the extra cholesterol,” Leonard says matter-of-factly, pursing his lips to keep from smiling.

 

“You're lucky I like you,” Kirk says sulkily.

 

“It was _my_ damn bacon,” Leonard gripes, pointedly ignoring the admission, “ _You're_ lucky I don't knock your teeth in.”

 

Kirk smirks at that, leaning on the table with his elbows. “Doesn't that go against your medical oath?”

 

Leonard snorts. “I'll fix you up after I knock your teeth in.”

 

Kirk's smirk melts into a warm smile before his eyes bounce around the room curiously. “So where's the old man?”

 

Leonard stills, a chill streaking down his spine. Kirk blinks at him with concern before it seems to click. His shoulders slump and he bows his head.

 

The blond makes eye contact with Leonard when he next speaks. Says, “I'm sorry,” and thankfully doesn't ask how David's end came about.

 

Leonard inhales through his nose and forces himself to take a bite of his toast. He chews a couple times before hastily swallowing, the small morsel settling like a rock in his stomach. “Yeah, well... we've all lost people, kid.” He says, words and gaze weighty.

 

“I'm not a kid...” Kirk grouches, obviously trying to switch the gears of their conversation.

 

“Sure thing.” Leonard smarts off with another eye roll, perfectly happy to change the subject. “ _Infant._ ”

 

“I see your personality has improved.” Kirk says sarcastically with a small grin before lowering his voice like he's about to reveal a conspiracy. “Do you still have that great whiskey?”

 

Leonard quirks a brow at Kirk, “Yes.”

 

Kirk sits and stares at him expectantly for long seconds.

 

“No.” Leonard says next, deadpan. “You can't have any. You ate my bacon.”

 

Kirk tilts his head ever so slightly to the side, blue eyes wide and pleading.

 

“No.” Leonard snaps, pulling a face of disgust when Kirk starts making puppy noises. “ _Stop,_ damn it.”

 

“What's the opposite of no?” Kirk implores.

 

Leonard scoffs, picks up his tray, and walks off.

 

Kirk rouses a few snickers in the hall when he calls loudly, “Okay, see you tonight, darling!”

 

Leonard doesn't reply, only vehemently tosses what's left of his food in the trash and smacks his tray down loudly in its return bin.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard is in the hangar bay working on Mitchell and Dehner's suit, Precog, when Spock and Uhura return in the Vulcan later that morning.

 

It comes in without missing any limbs, to Leonard's relief, but sparks are spraying from it in various swathes of the slashed torso. He groans, already cataloging all the sensory lines he's going to have to rewire, but with the way things were going these days it was a miracle the pair had made it back in at all.

 

He turns his current task over to another tech to go meet the pilots up in the control room where Pike and most of the comm staff are no doubt gathered.

 

When he enters the room Pike is already speaking with both of them. They look tired, well, Uhura does. Spock is his usual stiff, unruffled self though he can sense the other man's concern for Uhura in his close proximity to her, the continual flit of his eyes over her form.

 

They're stripped down to their circuitry suits, a black polymer sheath that looks much like a wetsuit you would wear surfing if not for the gold circuit board-like lines shimmering all across it.

 

“It's a shame Germany lost their last jaeger, but it's a good thing you two made it before the miracle mile. The last thing we need is a kaiju touching down in Okhotsk after Hong Kong.”

 

“Yes sir, we're lucky the Zeitgeist had been there. I don't think we would've been able to handle the kaiju without the damage it had already sustained.” Uhura says solemnly, hands clenched into fists at her sides. It was obvious that despite her exhaustion she would have a hard time sleeping, not with the anger and the fight still running deep. Leonard had dealt with the same in the past, hell, still dealt with it now when memories decided to resurface. That was usually when he turned to the bottle.

 

“Go on and change, get something to eat. We'll have a meeting at 15:00.” Pike says, eyes proud. Spock and Uhura are their best team at present with more kaiju kills than any suit in history.

 

“Sir,” both pilots chime before heading in Leonard's direction.

 

Uhura's down-turned mouth flips up warmly when she sees Leonard waiting for them. “Sorry, sweetheart, the paint got scratched a bit.”

 

Leonard chuckles and shakes his head. “There's a big difference between a scratch and a gouge, darlin'.”

 

Uhura grins and smacks him on the shoulder. Spock is quiet beside them, though he offers Leonard a courteous nod of the head.

 

“Well, just wanted to make sure you two were alright.. Go on and rest a bit before that meeting.” He steps aside so they can pass through the door.

 

“Thanks, Len.” Uhura says fondly. “Let's have dinner tomorrow. Hopefully those bastards will stay in their damn hole for one day.”

 

Leonard nods at her and says “Amen to that,” with conviction. Let those fuckers rot at the bottom of the ocean and never show their ugly faces again.

 

Uhura gives him one last smile and continues on. Spock follows after her without a word and Leonard tries not to feel offended yet again by the guy's manners. It's not like Leonard is any role model with the way he stomps around base like a disgruntled grizzly bear.

 

He moves on into the room and straight to Scotty's station where the console is already lit up with the damage report. “How's she look?”

 

Scotty gives him a stern side-glance and grunts unhappily. “She looks like a headache, is what. Repairs should nae take long, though.”

 

Leonard crosses his arms but lifts one at the elbow so he can rub at his chin, eyes taking in the scrolling data. “I see what you mean... damn it, put a relay panel under an armpit and it still finds a way to get hit.”

 

“Aye, it's a tragedy.” Scotty sighs.

 

“What's the saying, Scotty. Ye tak' the bree wi' the barm?” Leonard mutters, trying to sound Scottish around his Southern.

 

Scotty bursts into great hooting laughter. “Oh, aye, though yer accent is for shite and I'd appreciate more barm than bree, thenks.”

 

“Wouldn't we all?” He says with a wry smile before waving and heading back downstairs.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard is elbows-deep in the slashed up relay panel under the Vulcan's right arm when he hears Kirk coming down the metal walkway. The blond stops to talk to other techs working at different gouge sites and Leonard annoyingly enough finds himself amused over a dirty joke he can hear Kirk telling. 

 

There's a ruckus of laughter and general knee slapping that goes on so long Leonard is forced to intervene. " _Hey!_ Who wants to tell Pike why repairs are taking so long? Knock it off!"

 

"Whoops, sorry guys." Kirk says, voice cringing, then he adds on quietly but intentionally not quiet enough. "Better go smooth things over with the missus."

 

Soft chortles follow Kirk's approaching footsteps.

 

"Do you know how easy it would be for me to flip you over this railing and make it look like an accident?" Leonard prompts the moment Kirk is in sight. "What happened to me not seeing your mug till later?"

 

Kirk grins and shrugs. "I got bored. Pike is making me read all the reinstatement paperwork and I have to do those stupid training modules again."

 

"All returning pilots have to, you're no exception _Enterprise_." Leonard grumbles, viciously ripping out a tattered line of wiring that needs to be completely replaced.

 

"Are you this pleasant with everyone?" Kirk says in amusement, leaning on the railing beside the repositional lift Leonard is on in order to get close enough to do his work.

 

"No, you just bring out the best in me, Kirk." He replies scathingly and throws him a look to match it.

 

“Yeah, I know something else I could bring out the best in you.”

 

Leonard finds himself surprised by his own abrupt and loud bark of laughter. “Was that supposed to be a come on?”

 

“If you want it to be... _a come on_.” Kirk's voice drips low with innuendo.

 

“Good god, man.” Leonard splutters, turning his full attention to Kirk so the blond can see the entirety of Leonard's ' _have you lost your mind?_ ' expression.

 

Kirk is grinning like a loon. “Damn, you're fun.”

 

Leonard scowls then and pointedly turns back to his work, ignoring the jump in his heart rate. “I don't have time for your juvenile shit, Kirk.”

 

He hears Kirk sigh in a put upon way, which, _no_ , cause Leonard is the one putting up with the brat. “You've been working all morning and you haven't taken one break. Come on, let's get some lunch.”

 

“I can think of nothing I'd rather not do more.” Leonard grounds out despite feeling the slight shake of his over-taxed arms. He's pretty sure his blood sugar is getting unacceptably low. He'll grab some dessert from the cafeteria kitchen once Kirk stops bothering him. He's pretty sure it's peach cobbler today and he could really go for some peach cobbler.

 

“Bonnesss, I'll give you my ration of peach cobbler?” Kirk sing-songs enticingly and Leonard swings his head back to look at the blond, because that's some psychic crap right there. Kirk's eyes light up, mistaking Leonard's surprise for interest, even if part of it is admittedly interest. “I bet that's worth it, huh? Just put up with me for one hour and you'll have _two_ servings of juicy, delicious peach cobbler.”

 

Leonard keeps his mouth resolutely set, trying not to give away that Kirk had him at juicy. “Are you going to talk the whole time?”

 

Kirk huffs a laugh and puts his hands on his hips. “Yeah, you cranky bastard. I'm going to talk.” Kirk then raises a brow, clearly saying, _'Well?'_

 

Leonard rolls his eyes and works the lift controls to retract back to the walkway Kirk is on, disregarding Kirk's enthusiastic fist pump. If the idiot wants to fork over his peach cobbler to have a one-sided conversation, that's fine by him.

 

xxxx

 

Jim grins over at Bones beside him in the lunch line. The other man is doing his patented ' _I am annoyed by everything around me_ ' scowl and his newly added ' _especially Jim Kirk_ ' eyebrow furrow.

 

Bones glances over at him, eyes bouncing to his smiling mouth and back up before quickly looking away, shoulders somehow more rigid than they were a moment ago. 

 

Jim keeps his laughter to himself. The brown-haired man is like an open book... well, maybe an open book that has teeth and snaps at you. Bones is fighting Jim on getting to know each other every step of the way, but Jim isn't a quitter. It's just not in his nature, and there is maybe the matter of the crush Jim has had on the tech since the early years of his time as a pilot. Even before Jim had learned his real name.

 

He winks at the tech when his helping of cobbler is set on his tray. Bones looks away, clearly unimpressed, but Jim catches the slight curve of his lips.

 

Jim lets Bones lead them to a portion of table that isn't crowded and sits down across from him. “You know, since I've got you here, I think I'll just eat this cobbler now.”

 

Bones immediately stands up, tray in hand, and Jim laughs loudly, hands raising up in a placating gesture. “Kidding, only kidding.”

 

Bones glowers at him and smacks his tray back on the table, sitting down just as abruptly. “Fork over the cobbler now. If I have to endure your constant nattering, I need, no, I _deserve_ cobbler.”

 

Jim snickers as he transfers the dessert to Bones' tray, watchful of the fork clutched tightly in the other man's hand, like he's waiting for any more funny business to justify a stabbing. “I have learned important lessons today. Don't steal Bones' bacon and never come between him and his peach cobbler.” 

 

Bones is already shoveling a bite in his mouth and chewing it aggressively. “Also his fried chicken,” he adds around his mouthful. He points the fork at Jim threateningly. “Even more than the cobbler.”

 

“Can I just say how turned on I am, by all that food in your mouth.” Jim says portentously. “The cobbler looks so much better all chewed up in there.”

 

Bones just glares at him and resumes eating as well as talking, “I'm sure a length of PVC pipe could turn you on.”

 

“You actually had me at length,” Jim grins, waggling his brows.

 

Bones rolls his eyes and Jim is already formulating a graph in his head to compare the frequency of Bones' eye-rolls to conversation topics. 

 

Bones lowers his fork and starts sliding further down the table. “I think I'm going to sit over here now.”

 

“Hey! That's not what we agreed upon, I said one hour,” Jim whines, sliding down just as far.

 

Bones stops and brandishes his fork/weapon at him. “And I didn't actually say okay, I just happened to follow you in here.”

 

Jim drops his jaw. “Well, I never!” He gasps. “I want my cobbler back.”

 

Bones crams in the last of Jim's square of dessert. “Your serving's in my mouth,” he manages to mumble.

 

Jim leans back in his seat and looks at Bones in dismay. “Okay. Can you say that again? Only more sexy and less food. I want to use it for context later.”

 

Bones rolls his eyes again, _score_ , and seems to accept his fate because he stops trying to leave. Yep, that's Jim's way. Forced resignation because there's no escape from his handsome wiles.

 

Jim lets silence hang around for a second or two before speaking again. “How's the tech bizz going? Do you even enjoy it?” He asks innocently, poking at his food but keeping a peripheral eye on the man across from him. Bones seems to accept the question easily enough because he doesn't pause in his movements.

 

Jim had looked up David McCoy's info earlier and felt the familiar squeeze of loss around his heart as he'd read the deceased tab. 

 

Irrationally, he feels like it's unfair, like some universal karma is way out of whack if Jim had to lose Sam and then Bones had to lose his father like that. So slowly, so painfully. And then to read how closely the cure had followed his death. He aches at the thought of what Bones had felt at the news. He can't begin to understand what that was like. Sam had died fast, in the line of duty. As much as Jim would've liked to have had more time with his brother, he wouldn't have wanted it in that way at all.

 

“For the most part... not so much lately. Too much work and not enough workers.” Bones grouses, shoving his mashed potatoes around a little too roughly. It's true enough now, most of the techs they'd had in the past went on to other pursuits or to spend time with family. When you worked on the base, you got a firsthand look at just how bad things were getting so often times, when you left the base, you left with a sense of doom. Jim can't say he'd left with one, he just hadn't cared about what happened at the time. While he's come a long way since then, Sam is still a blank hole in his mind, one he reaches out to on instinct only to experience that feeling of falling that jolts you awake in bed sometimes.

 

Jim chews on the inside of his bottom lip a bit before glancing over and hesitantly asking, “Do you miss being EMS?”

 

Now Bones does freeze up, and Jim can practically see the wall go flying up between them. “No,” is all he says, tone clipped and unpleasant.

 

Jim takes in the uncomfortable set of Bones' shoulders, like he's bracing for an impact. He knows he needs to tread lightly even if it's not really his thing. He doesn't want to run Bones off, though. He wants to be friends. He thinks he's always wanted that, but the timing had never been right. If now isn't the time, well, he isn't sure they'll get another chance.

 

“Does Pike even send out EMS anymore?” Jim says, trying to diffuse the situation.

 

Bones frowns and relaxes marginally. “We have a couple that haven't been scrapped, they don't see much action though. Mostly just playing clean up crew these days...”

 

Jim sighs and shakes his head. “I'm ready for all this shit to be over. But you know, with me in the Enterprise on a pile of defeated kaiju corpses, rift closed, and my plasma cannon held aloft in the air, sun gleaming off the barrel-” He's expounding grandly by the end, hand in the air holding an imaginary weapon. It's Bones' gruff laughter that cuts him off and makes him smirk at the other man. “What? It could happen.”

 

Bones snorts and dips a piece of his biscuit in his roughed-up mashed potatoes. “Yeah, I admire your imagination, kid.” 

 

“Not a kid,” Jim scolds, “I'm a manly man.” 

 

Wow, three eye-rolls in almost as many minutes.

 

Jim keeps the conversation light for the rest of their lunch, using the time to get more familiar with Bones and how things are running on base these days from someone working in the metaphorical trenches.

 

When Bones gets up with him and they part in the hall, the other man only waves and leaves without a word to Jim's insistence on having a drink, but when Jim glances back he sees Bones looking back at the same time.

 

Jim grins when the tech turns away and quickens his pace. He _so_ has Bones' number.

 

xxxx

 

 

Jim sits impatiently outside Pike's office later with his reinstatement paperwork finished on his PADD, which he could just e-mail, but Pike is insistent on babysitting him through the whole process. Jim has a feeling Pike is worried about his mental health, which is bullshit, but he guesses with the way he'd scrambled out of here after his brother's death, it's a legitimate worry.

 

Pike is also a lot like a father figure to Jim, had been to Sam, too, so he knows it's more than just worrying about him. It's about honestly caring how Jim is settling in and he suspects, missing having him around. Jim has missed Pike, too. He tries to show it in how utterly annoying he is whenever he's alone with the other man. It's totally working. Maybe.

 

“Not even a week and already outside the Principle's Office?”

 

Jim looks up at the familiar mocking tone and grins when he sees Uhura standing a couple feet away in her army-green fatigues, hand on her hip, all sass and cuddly barbed wire. “Uhura! How's my girl?”

 

Uhura rolls her eyes at him and crosses her arms. “In what universe have I ever been your girl, Kirk?”

 

“All of them.” He says, giving her his best creeper eyes. 

 

He cheers triumphantly inside when she's unable to stop from smiling. “And here I was hoping you'd matured.”

 

Jim shudders. “The day I'm as uptight as Spock... well, it's a day that will never happen.”

 

“Just like _this_ will never happen.” She says pointedly, gesturing between them.

 

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” he counters, grinning cheekily. It feels good to fall into the same song and dance of five years ago, even if his heart twinges knowing that Sam won't be there to jokingly tell him to watch out for Uhura's claws. 

 

“Let Pike know I came by but had to leave before I strangled you, okay?” She enunciates each word, fingers flexing threateningly at her sides.

 

Jim gives his okay with a wink and some finger guns to which Uhura growls loudly at, her expression broadcasting how much of an idiot she thinks he is. Then she's turning on a dime and marching away.

 

“I love the view when you walk away from me!” He calls after her, snickering softly when she gives him the middle finger before disappearing around the corner.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Kirk shows up on Leonard's doorstep later that night even though Leonard had never said anything in the affirmative, and he almost slams the door in the blond's face, except he probably wouldn't be fast enough. The doors are made of steel, after all, slamming is not really an option.

 

“Bones, ol' buddy, ol' pal.” Kirk simpers, giving him more puppy eyes.

 

Leonard sighs and turns away from the door. “There's really no one else on this entire base you can drink with besides me?” He growls, plopping into one of the two rickety chairs that sit next to an equally rickety table adjacent to his bed. Kirk closes the door and Leonard looks up as the blond moseys in without a care in the world, eyes trickling around the tiny quarters.

 

“And miss out on your magnanimous company? I don't think so.” Kirk jokes, pausing at a couple photos hung on the wall. There's one of he and his father, another of Chapel and M'Benga (an EMS jaegar pair), and a smattering of group photos.

 

Here in this cramped place Leonard's called home for over a decade, his mind seems to completely shift gears and all he sees is the grace of Kirk's body. His lithe narrow torso is hugged by a simple gray v-neck and the muscles of his arms ripple fluidly when he swings them idly at his sides.

 

Leonard pulls his gaze up quickly when Kirk directs his attention back to him, but there's a glint in the other man's eyes that tells him he was caught. Nothing is said about it though, Kirk only drops himself into the other chair and casually reaches for the bottle of old Tennessee on the table. “No glasses?” He asks in amusement, full lips quirked to one side.

 

Leonard briefly recalls whipping the two tumblers he'd owned at the wall not long after his father's death. There had been no point in having them, he would be drinking alone from that point on. Of course, he never would've guessed he'd be sitting with a Kirk now.

 

“No,” he starts, voice hoarse before he quietly clears his throat. “Just drink from the bottle, genius.” He bites out, covering his discomfort with patented vitriol and looking over at the pictures on the wall if only to have something else to direct his attention to.

 

Kirk doesn't reply, but he hears the swish of liquid in the bottle as the other man raises it and takes a long drink. “Shit, that's good stuff.” He hisses out, clunking the bottle back on the table so Leonard can swipe it up next and take his own hearty drink.

 

Leonard doesn't know why he feels so riled up by Kirk's presence, maybe because the blond seems to keep unknowingly tripping into shit he doesn't want to think about. Not to mention, the guy has the ability to piss him off, make him laugh, and turn him on all in one encounter. It's crazy and barely makes any sense.

 

He lets silence settle between them for a while as they take turns drinking, but he eventually breaks it with a question he's been wondering since he heard the news of Kirk's arrival. “So why come back?”

 

Kirk sighs, stretches his legs out before him, and puts his hands behind his head. “I was working on the wall in Hong Kong when we were attacked head on. The kaiju was so fast... faster than any before. We barely had any warning. There were a lot of causalities but luckily the Wei Tang triplets showed up in their jaeger not long after. I felt so... it just sucked. It's obvious the kaiju are getting stronger with time and I can't sit back and watch everything fall apart anymore. I have to do _something_. Sam would've-” He seems to choke on the name, but recovers and continues determinedly. “He would've wanted it.” He snorts softly. “Probably would've kicked my ass for ever leaving the program in the first place, but I just...”

 

Leonard swallows the lump in his throat, part of him blaring a warning that this conversation is not okay and he does not want to have it. This time it's his own fool fault for bringing up the question in the first place, but he certainly hadn't expected Kirk to be so frank with him, not after the lengths Leonard himself usually went to bury all the pain of his past.

 

Kirk seems to hold it close to him, embrace it. He isn't ashamed of the words that fall from his lips and Leonard can't help but feel jealous of him. Then again, Kirk hadn't been responsible for his brother's death.

 

When he looks up after another too long quiet, his eyes lock with Kirk's. The blue of them pierces straight through him, and there's understanding there, empathy. A knee-jerk swell of burning acid fills his chest, makes him want to harm something. He doesn't need Kirk's pity, he doesn't know what really happened.

 

“I.. I heard your dad died of cancer. And you had to drift with him through it. I can't imagine-”

 

“ _Get out_.” Leonard snaps, rushing to cut Kirk off. He feels all at once out of control of everything. Everyone on base knows better than to bring up his father, it's something like a rule Leonard expects to always be followed so Kirk boldly going where no one else has gone before brings all the hurt he's shoved down right back up. Uhura is probably the one person he can honestly call friend here and she knows inherently to keep things light between them and even helps him forget the horror show going on outside for a minute or two. Kirk doesn't seem to have the same inclination to mind his own business.

 

“Bones.” Kirk says softly, standing.

 

“You got shit to learn around here, kid. I'm not gonna be your friend and I sure as hell ain't gonna have a heart to heart with you.” He spits out, words barbed in desperate anger. He needs Kirk to go, he just wants to be alone. And if his stomach drops a bit at the thought, he refuses to acknowledge it.

 

“Well, I think you're all bark and no bite, Bones. Whatever's got you wound up so tight, you need to fucking let it go. It's like you said, we've all lost people, so why are you letting it eat you up inside like this? Your dad wouldn't want-”

 

Leonard shoots up from his chair and swears. “I said _get out_!”

 

“ _No,_ ” is the defiant reply.

 

Leonard gapes in outrage before he makes to forcibly remove the blond from his presence, but only finds himself pushed up against the wall the next second. Kirk is a line of heat in front of him, his palms pressed against Leonard's shoulders with fingers splayed open. It's a clear signal that Leonard can remove them if he wants, but he finds himself frozen still. Kirk's breath ghosts over his lips and Leonard closes his eyes for one second in hopes of regaining some kind of control.

 

“I'm not asking you to tell me something you're not ready to, Bones. I just want you to give me a chance to be something more than some guy you know. I.. I really like you. And I think you like me, too, even though you've been acting like a giant porcupine. A really hot giant porcupine... er... if that were possible..um, it's a metaphor,” Kirk mumbles, trailing off for a moment before coming back with a harried, “I'm not into bestiality.”

 

Leonard snaps his eyes open as he laughs in disbelief. “Were you dropped on your head as a child?”

 

Kirk gives him a sheepish smile and a shrug, fingers still open at his shoulders though they're wiggling a little now. He can feel the warm press of them, among other parts... Kirk is still very much in his personal space. “I might've been. It would explain the divot in the back of my head.” He says, squinting his eyes speculatively.

 

Leonard huffs out another laugh. Jesus, Kirk is something else, that's for sure. He's gone from wanting to throttle the other man to laughing at him. Well, there were reactions one and two... His eyes trail to the blond's lips on their own, their close proximity making it harder for him not to look. A pink tongue slips out to wet that full mouth and Leonard swallows.

 

When Leonard looks back up into Kirk's eyes, he finds that the blue is almost swallowed by the black of his irises, his cheeks faintly flushed.

 

He briefly thinks ' _To hell with it all_ ' in his head and it's like Kirk hears because that plush mouth is on his the next second.

 

Leonard gasps as a bolt of want zings down his spine and Kirk thrusts his tongue into his mouth, crowds closer against him with hot palms framing his face now. Leonard moans lowly, lets his hands settle on Kirk's perfect hips. He grasps to the end of Kirk's shirt and they both sigh appreciatively as his fingers curve around naked hipbones.

 

Kirk moves his right thigh between Leonard's legs and rubs, causing another moan to slip out. Leonard breaks the kiss to thunk his head back against the steel wall, Kirk using it as an invitation to lick and suck his way down Leonard's neck. “So beautiful, even with that grumpy ass frown on your face,” Kirk mumbles huskily, nipping at Leonard's collar bone.

 

Leonard grabs Kirk's face and mutters, “ _Shut up_ ,” before pulling him into another hungry kiss. Kirk's thigh between his legs is driving him mad and standing is becoming unacceptable so he starts pushing the younger man back towards his bed.

 

Right before they reach it, Kirk spins them and Leonard ends up on his back. The blond covers him with his body and the jagged and frayed mess inside him smooths a little. Leonard lets out a soft whimper that Kirk's mouth swallows and when he arches up to press more closely to Kirk, the other man groans. Kirk pulls back the next second and swiftly removes his shirt before helping Leonard with his own.

 

When their naked chests slide together, Leonard can't help the needy “ _Ah..._ ” that slips from his lips. He feels warmer than he can ever remember being, and irrationally he wants to climb inside Kirk and stay there. He wishes he had the strength to embrace his own painful past, to accept it, but it's a foreign concept. Maybe he's just a stubborn ass, too set in his ways of self-recrimination to change.

 

“I used to watch you working with the other techs,” Kirk is murmuring into Leonard's throat. A greedy calloused hand slides over a sensitive nipple and down to ticklish side, making Leonard inhale sharply. Kirk chuckles, “I remember one particular day, the heater in the hangar bay went on the fritz, and you, goddamn, _you_ ,” Kirk hisses, moving down to mouth at the nipple his hand missed. Leonard pants and clutches at Kirk's arms. “Had your shirt off, drenched in sweat, so fucking hot. Wanted you so bad, even before crashing.” His lips stutter across Leonard's stomach silently after that as if he wants to say more but decides against it.

 

Leonard's brain is not on the right track to even begin addressing it, and Kirk certainly doesn't give him time to dwell as he yanks his pants open and drags them down his hips enough to free his cock.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Leonard gasps, voice thin and high as incredibly hot, tight heat envelops his dick, then he's just holding on for dear life, swearing and sobbing with how good it is. Kirk's mouth is sinful and Leonard would have that tongue in his mouth and on his dick at the same time if it were possible. Startlingly, his mind supplies him with an image of the Kirk brothers helping achieve just that, and he's gone in that moment, straining against the arm across his waist.

 

Kirk doesn't pull off him, just swallows around him, sending sharp aftershocks of pleasure racing up his spine that become almost painful by the time the blond lets him go.

 

Leonard's still struggling for breath when he manages to pry his eyes open enough to look at the other man. Kirk is sitting over his knees looking as dazed as Leonard feels, lips cherry red and hair a mess from where Leonard must've raked his fingers through it. Guilt squirms fleetingly in his chest over his last thoughts for someone who was no longer with them. It wouldn't be a lie to say he'd eyed both brothers in the past around the base. They had been the golden boys, the kaiju ass-kickers. Everyone had wanted them in one way or another.

 

His heart skips a beat when he remembers Kirk saying he'd been watching him, that he'd wanted him, too. He wishes he had known.

 

“What're you thinking about?” Kirk rasps out.

 

“That we shoulda been doin' this a long time ago,” He growls truthfully, and Kirk chuckles.

 

Leonard's eyes drift down and widen, “Uh, did you need-” He stumbles out.

 

Kirk shakes his head, slides up to lie at Leonard's side and shifts his hips around a bit. A light blush stains the blond's cheeks when Leonard turns his head to look at him after sluggishly pulling his pants back up. “I, um, I'm good. You were making these... amazing noises and...” He locks eyes with Leonard before swearing and slanting his mouth over Leonard's like he can't help himself.

 

They make out for long moments before finally settling tiredly into the bed-covers, Kirk's head pillowed on his chest, nose skimming under his jaw.

 

“Is it okay if I stay?” Kirk whispers cautiously.

 

Leonard is already half asleep, but he manages a nod and a slurred, “Yeah.”

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Jim swears as he sits up with a start, knowing via his internal clock that he is most likely about to be late for his very important sessions to find a co-pilot. Pike will kick his ass after taking careful time putting together his best people himself.

 

Bones snuffles next to him and Jim turns to watch him in the low lighting. The dark-haired man looks adorable without the gruff mask on, and as much as Bones thinks he's hiding all his hurts, Jim can see them easily. Maybe it's because he can relate, losing a co-pilot, and one that was family. Drifting brings a new level of awareness to your relationship with a person, losing that is like losing a limb. Hell, a couple limbs.

 

Jim physically aches to heal the other man somehow. Bones is holding nothing in like he thinks, only bleeding out all over the place. It's killing the tech slowly, and Jim has a feeling he's missing an important piece of information.

 

He's unable to think on it more, just leans down to press a kiss to the corner of the sleeping man's mouth. “Hey, Bones... I gotta go do some sessions, okay?”

 

Bones grumbles and cracks open one eye to stare blearily at Jim. He seems confused for a couple moments before he nods slowly. “'kay...”

 

Jim feels an unbidden smile pull at the corners of his mouth. “I'll come find you later. This isn't over,” He leers.

 

Bones slowly cocks one brow, then snorts in amusement and rolls onto his side to go back to sleep.

 

Jim takes it as a “Sure thing, Jim! Have a fantastic morning!” and stands up. He hisses as his underwear sticks to him uncomfortably. Well, that was that. Shower first, deal with Pike second.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

“Be late again and I'll have Janice withhold your bacon at breakfast indefinitely.” Pike threatens, arms crossed imposingly in front of him when Jim finally arrives. “I know how much you love the oatmeal.”

 

Jim sighs and pats Pike on the shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with, huh?” He mutters quietly, eyes going over the couple dozen people milling the spacious hall. Most of them are only there to see what's about to go down. “What've you got for me?”

 

“Good people. Give them a chance, Jim. I know it'll be hard to rival Sam, but we need the Enterprise out there with a solid pair. Chekov and Sulu got some new data from the portal and we're looking at a real shot to possibly close it and end this nightmare.”

 

Jim tries not to feel irritated over a phrase he's heard one too many times. He stays quiet in favor of the 'if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all' tactic.

 

Pike is already turning away though and walking toward the crowd. “Garrison, Tyler, Colt. Step forward, please.”

 

Jim follows behind, eying the three candidates that break away from their groups and line up. He already feels like the three men are wrong for the position, but he has to give them a chance. For the good of the entire planet. Jim groans internally. Like _that_ doesn't put the pressure on.

 

“Grab your hanbo, Garrison. You're going first.”

 

Jim grabs his own half-staff and steps out onto the mat that's been placed on a large area of the floor. Stick fighting, strangely enough, is a good way to test out a pilot's compatibility with another pilot. In formal matches such as this, hitting is discouraged. It's all some hippie mumbo-jumbo crap that got started a long time ago. Jim didn't like it at first, but he sees the merits now and understands the necessity. Trust starts here, in the respect your opponent shows you and in their loyalty to following the rules that are set. More importantly, the bond starts here, in how well you anticipate your partner's attack, and the fluidity of your movements together.

 

They circle each other at first before Garrison dives in for the attack which Jim deflects easily and counters. His stick stops just below Garrison's ribcage and Pike calls in the hit.

 

It goes downhill from there. Tyler gets in a few hits, but not near as many as Jim. Colt is a disaster. They're strong men with solid combat skills, but they don't match Jim, not in the way he needs them to. He finds himself suddenly apprehensive about who he'll be sharing his thoughts with, his memories. He doesn't think he'll be able to with just anyone.

 

It hits him suddenly.

 

_Bones._

 

It's as easy as that once he realizes it. Sure, the guy is combative and grouchy, and anyone else would think Jim is crazy if they were in his shoes, but inexplicably he understands Bones. He believes Bones understands him, too, and could understand him even better if he could see around whatever terrible hurt that seemed to consume most of his vision.

 

And even though Bones has only been an EMS pilot, the drifting program between suits is basically the same. Bones has the experience and while it might not be as extensive as Pike would prefer, Jim knows whatever Bones lacks, Jim can make up for with his own knowledge.

 

The only problem is Bones' reaction before when Jim had mentioned missing being EMS. It's going to take some work to convince the tech to open up his head-space to someone again, but Jim feels like he could be the exception. He cares about the man. Jim remembers how things had been after the crash, how Bones had been nothing but a great doctor to him. A great human being.

 

Even then, Jim had been like a kid poking a bear with a stick, he'd always liked the way Bones reacted to him. It was nice to think of the grouchy tech slash medic instead of the gaping void in his life. He thinks Bones had understood that and handled Jim's attitude a lot better than anyone else would've.

 

It seems like a trade-off now almost, it's Jim's turn to support Bones. He can't let the other man carry that invisible weight on his shoulders alone anymore.

 

Drifting can help both of them... he knows it. Part of him is certain they need it to heal.

 

Jim's buzzing with nervous energy by the time he leaves the hall, telling Pike he'll comm him later over his shoulder. He moves down the corridors with purpose, already typing out a request on his PADD for Bones to meet him in one of the empty training rooms.

 

He'll make it a sure thing, first. He knows he needs to test what's between them, but if he's honest with himself, he's committed to the idea.

 

He only wants to drift with Bones.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard wakes up not long after Kirk leaves. He sits up in bed and rubs at his eyes before staring blearily down at his feet under the thin blanket. A strange calm seems to have settled inside him and he finds that he's enjoying the radio silence for as long as he can. It's been so long since he hasn't pulled himself from bed right away to escape the fearful emptiness that had spread in his sleep.

 

He doesn't like to acknowledge it, but it's clear this was Kirk's doing. He's even more annoyed that he's disappointed the other man couldn't stay longer, though his sleepy remembrance of Kirk saying this wasn't a one-off warms him.

 

Leonard slaps at his mattress irritably and growls for good measure. He's a downright idiot sometimes. What the hell had he been thinking? He _hadn't_ been thinking.

 

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Memories of before, when he'd been overseeing Kirk's recovery are slowly starting to return.

 

Those blue eyes had been haunted then, sometimes startlingly empty, and Leonard sees the same emptiness when he looks at himself in the mirror now. It bothers him to think of Kirk then and how Leonard hadn't done more for him.

 

He remembers finding out that Kirk had suddenly disappeared off base a month after the crash, out into the world without a word. Leonard had asked Pike of his whereabouts here and there, the other man always seeming to keep an eye on the blond's movements. He'd known the Kirk brothers had been close with Pike, the man had been friends with their parents, and maybe he'd felt responsible for the boys in the passing of George and then Winona.

 

It had rubbed Leonard the wrong way for a couple months, the way Jim had run out into a world that wasn't home, into a place where no familiar faces waited. Once his father had passed, Leonard couldn't imagine leaving the base. It would've felt terribly wrong and, frankly, terrifying.

 

He pulls himself out of bed and shuffles into the bathroom where he puts his palms down on the small counter and stares at himself in the mirror. It's not something he does often, only every now and then, and he can't say it's ever pleasant. He finds it akin to traveling to a prison to look into the eyes of the man that took something important from you. You want him to see your suffering, your anger. It's the only revenge you're allowed.

 

The key problem is that he is the victim and the killer. It doesn't stop him from separating himself sometimes, having nasty arguments in his head that only end up making him feel crazy. It all pours evenly into a cup of self-loathing at the end anyway. Part of him stubbornly thinks that he could've done more as a son, and as a physician.

 

He pulls his pants and underwear off and steps into the shower, enjoying the heat that cascades over aching muscles. It's as he's soaping up that he sees the purple mark on his ribcage where Kirk had sucked a bruise into the skin. It sends a sudden spike of desire through him and he finds himself rubbing at the mark with a thumb, a small smile pulling at his lips.

 

He's in trouble, alright. Though he can feel that impulse to push away, it feels a lot like he's only grabbing onto Kirk and holding tighter. And so what, is it really so bad for him to have something for once? It's not like they're going to get married or anything.

 

Leonard blows out a breath of frustration and rests his forehead on the tiled wall. He isn't going to over-think it, he's just going to let it be, and take it in stride.

 

So when he gets a message from Kirk later during repair duty, he most certainly doesn't immediately drop what he's doing to go to the other man. Even if he maybe really wants to, he forces himself to take his time and leaves once he's good and ready.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Jim looks up from his PADD when Bones hesitantly enters the room, glancing around like he's waiting for something to jump out at him.

 

“What's going on?”

 

Jim smiles and stands up, bringing two hanbo with him in his right hand. “I know I said I'd come find you, but...” He throws one of the sticks to Bones without warning and is delighted when the other man catches it easily. It's even more entertaining how confused Bones is when he looks at the stick, like it just materialized into his hand.

 

“Spar with me,” Jim says simply.

 

Bones frowns at him, opening his mouth and then closing it.

 

“Come on, it'll be cathartic.”

 

The other man tilts his head back, looking amused. “Cathartic, huh?”

 

“ _Soooo_ , cathartic. You'll thank me for how cathartic it is. And then later we can be cathartic another way.”

 

“If I do, will you stop saying cathartic?” Bones huffs, brows having ascended to new heights on his forehead.

 

“Is there such thing as a cathartic yes? I guess if I yelled i-” He's cut off by Bones lunging forward, half-staff swinging in an arc down at Jim's head.

 

Jim rolls out of the way, grinning. “Hey, not the face. I need it to attract a certain handsome but surly EMS tech.”

 

Bones tries to look annoyed but a smile is pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I'm just wonderin' if I hit you on the head enough maybe it'll knock some sense into you.”

 

Jim waggles his brows, twirling the stick fluidly from side to side. “You can try.”

 

Bones glowers and lunges at him again, their sticks deflecting against each other in three rapid clacks. It's obvious Bones is pretty experienced with this method of practice, if not rusty. The other man's movements are jerky at first before they start smoothing out like he's falling into an old skin.

 

Jim had never seen Bones and his old man spar before, but he's certain that's where Bones is drawing his experience from. It makes sense for what Jim had known of David. The EMS pilot had sat in on some tactical meetings, always offering thoughtful advice in a serious and measured voice. He would've wanted Bones to be prepared for anything on the field. Jim recalls some gossip about an EMS jaeger taking on a kaiju once or twice and not getting decimated. He wouldn't doubt the stories had been about the father and son pair.

 

He regrets not interacting with them more, but back then he'd been so wrapped up in all the fighting and the glory. His life had been fast-paced with little room for close friendships besides the one he'd had with his brother.

 

“Whoa!” Jim exclaims, jerking his head back as the end of a Bones' hanbo goes sailing past his nose. “What'd I say about the face?”

 

Bones is smirking, hanbo held horizontal in both hands and close to his left side. His slightly crouched position makes him ready for any offensive moves. “Quit daydreaming, Kirk. We're supposed to be sparring.”

 

Jim laughs, enjoying Bones' playful attitude. Maybe the guy just needed more sex in his life, who knew the last time he'd got any. Jim's sure it would be easy for Bones if he went in search of it, but it's obvious his initial attitude towards Jim would've scared off anyone else. At any rate, he's selfishly glad for it. He's man enough to admit that he wants Bones all to himself.

 

Jim lunges this time in an attempt to knock Bones' feet out from under him, keeping up their conversation as the other man deflects the attack. “I don't like Kirk. Call me Jim.”

 

“ _Jim_ ,” Bones says low and husky on purpose, causing Jim to falter so the other man is able to get a hit in on his right side.

 

“Cheap trick!” Jim complains, their sticks smacking together loudly the next second, Bones' deep laughter echoing inbetween blows.

 

They go all in for the next few minutes, breath too precious for any more words. It's perfect and awesome, and really Jim can't use enough positive adjectives. He feels connected to someone again, something he's missed desperately. It's clear that Bones can feel what's between them, his hazel eyes lit up with the thrill of their fight.

 

It's when they break apart for a moment to circle each other that loud clapping starts from the room's entrance. Jim straightens and turns to see Pike coming towards them.

 

“Looks like you've found your co-pilot, Jim.” Pike says approvingly. “I wouldn't have recommended it in the past but you both move together so well it'd be stupid not to pair you.”

 

“Excuse me?” Bones says, concern and a touch of anger creeping into his tone.

 

Jim feels a light flush start up his neck and guiltily locks eyes with Bones.

 

The tech is looking more and more pissed. “I'm not co-piloting anything.”

 

Pike speaks before Jim can get a word out. “Yes, you are, Leonard. I don't know if you realize it, but we're losing the battle out there. We need a pair like you. A strong pair.” He holds up a hand when Bones opens his mouth to no doubt grouch something like, “ _The hell I will!_ ”

 

“I know what happened to David was hard on you.” Bones looks sick now. “ _But_ we're talking about the whole of humanity here. You have a chance to do something great, to protect everyone on this planet. To make it so no one has to lose someone they love to the kaiju again. You've seen the data recently, you know we're getting closer to a solution.”

 

“ _Bullshit_ , we're always getting closer to a solution. Same fuckin' story, different day!” Bones spits venomously.

 

“Bones-”

 

“Shut up, _Kirk_! Just a good spar, huh? Instead you're settin' me up for this hogwash. Goddamn it, I'm a tech now, not a jaeger pilot. And that's not changin' anytime soon!”

 

“You'll do it and that's an order, _soldier_.” Pike nearly shouts, title warning Bones that this isn't a democracy.

 

Bones' posture goes rigid and his mouth sets into a hard line. The salute he gives Pike might as well be the middle finger before he storms out of the room without another word.

 

Jim smacks a hand to his face and groans. Well, that was a fucking fiasco.

 

“He'll come around.” Pike says confidently.

 

“I don't know, sir...” He says tiredly, dropping his hand. He knows he's going to need to have a talk with Bones and he can only hope the other man will even want to speak to him.

 

“I want you both in Hangar Bay 1 at 0600. And finish the rest of your damn modules, Jim.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Jim sighs, watching Pike's back as he walks away.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard is so furious he could spit nails by the time he gets back to his room. He stalks back and forth in the small space, rage and betrayal like knives stabbing up under his ribcage.

 

His eyes land on the nearly empty bottle of Tennessee and he swipes it up and drinks the rest in one go, enjoying the burn as he chugs it. His right arm wings back with the intention of flinging the empty bottle across the room, but he pulls out of it at the last second and sits down heavily in one of the table's chairs.

 

The bottle slides from his fingers and clatters to the floor. He stares at it lying on its side for long moments before putting his face in his hands. There's no way he's going to pilot again, he can't. An irrational part of him feels like a curse, like he's bad luck. He feels like if he falls down, he'll drag Kirk with him. Kirk is so bright and alive, and Leonard is drawn to him despite himself, he soaks in the warmth of that sun.

 

He imagines his sins swallowing Kirk up, extinguishing that light. That's what he sees when he thinks of them drifting. A black hole taking another beautiful thing from a world that needs as much beauty as it can get. The fear becomes a roiling, writhing mass inside him. It seems to grow as the time ticks by, suffocating him. He can hear his harsh breathing, knows he's about to go into a full-blown panic attack.

 

A loud rapping on the door startles him out of his head-space and he sits back in his chair and tries to take steadier breaths.

 

“Bones, open up. Please... I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to go down like that.”

 

Leonard clenches his hands into fists, closes his eyes. “But you wanted it to go down.” He hates how wrecked his voice sounds.

 

Kirk is silent for a few seconds before speaking again, voice somber and sincere. “Come on, Bones. I know you can sense it... we'll be great pilots. I won't let anything bad happen to you, okay? I promise.”

 

“Jesus, what makes you think I care about what happens to me? What about you?” He bites out. “I got... my mind has a lot of pitfalls. I'm not a good pilot anymore, Kirk.”

 

“Can we have this conversation with me in the room?” Kirk pleads.

 

Leonard drags in one more deep breath before tiredly standing and going to the door. He pauses for a second, wondering if it would be better if he holed up in here till Pike had no choice but to task Kirk with someone else. He stifles a bitter laugh over his own patheticness.

 

Kirk smiles wide when the door opens to him. Leonard allows enough room for him to slip inside before closing it.

 

He doesn't expect Kirk to put his arms around his shoulders and pull him into a hug, so when he does Leonard just stands there with his arms at his sides feeling off-center and a little hollow.

 

A wide palm settles at the back of his neck, thumb rubbing soothingly at his nape. “You're stronger than you think and whatever happens, we're in this together now.” Kirk pulls back then, eyes gentle and sure. “I don't want to drift with anyone else.”

 

“You barely know me...” Leonard whispers helplessly and it feels like a lie once he says it.

 

Kirk smiles warmly, presses a kiss to his lips that fills the gap in him with something he refuses to name. “I know what's important.”

 

Leonard squeezes his eyes shut and bows his head, shaking it.

 

“Bones, whatever it is you're keeping from me. Whatever you don't want anyone to see, you have to know that I would never think any different of you.” Kirk whispers, stroking a hand through his hair. “I _know_ what kind of man you are... and that's a good one. Through and through.”

 

Leonard takes in a shuddering breath and presses his forehead to Kirk's. “What if I can't leave the rabbit alone?” He murmurs, referring to the term coined by pilots in the middle of battle who fell into bad memories and left themselves open for attack. If one pilot chased his rabbit, the other usually had no choice but to follow. And even if they didn't, it was a lot like fighting half-awake.

 

“We're just linking up tomorrow. We'll work the kinks out.”

 

Leonard snorts, “Kinks, huh?”

 

He sees Kirk's lips curve up devilishly before strong arms wrap around Leonard's waist, pulling him close. “Yeah, and then later we'll work some more kinks out.”

 

Leonard laughs this time, the sound still a bit shaky from residual emotion. “You make the worst innuendos.”

 

Kirk gives his own breathy laugh. “It's an art form.”

 

Leonard presses his lips to Kirk's this time, initiating a round of slow, exploratory kisses. When he feels his body start to get a little too interested, he pulls away. “Damn it, I...I have to go. Sulu needs me to look at some updated neural schematics and there's still the Vulcan repairs...”

 

Kirk sighs and runs a hand over Leonard's cheek before stepping away. It looks like it takes him a lot of effort. “Yeah, I have training modules to finish... I'll see you in the hangar bay tomorrow, right?”

 

Leonard makes reluctant eye contact. “Don't have much choice, do I?”

 

Kirk's smile is wry this time, an apology in his eyes. “It's gonna be fine.”

 

Leonard sure hopes so.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard slumps his way to the research lab, just trying to keep his mind as carefully blank as he can. He doesn't want to think about tomorrow and for once he's excited to have Chekov and Sulu blab his ears off about portal theories and horrifyingly enough on one occasion, drifting with a piece of kaiju brain. Pike had shut that shit down fast though, he wasn't about to let his best analysts make such a moronic move regardless of possible benefits.

 

When he punches in his code and the door slides open, he doesn't really expect to come into the room to Chekov and Sulu jumping apart in surprise.

 

Leonard squints his eyes, looking between the flustered pair. “Did I interrupt something?”

 

Chekov's head snaps up from looking pointedly at the floor, alarm in his eyes. “O-Of course not, sir. We were just-we were...” He flounders, hands flailing around like they'll catch the words he needs in the air.

 

“Oh fuck it, we were making out.” Sulu cuts in, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking at Leonard with a face that says, _'Yes, you interrupted, thanks a fucking lot.'_

 

Leonard raises a brow at Sulu and gives the east and west walls a once over in an obvious, _'Last time I checked this was a research lab, not a bedroom.'_

 

Sulu shakes his head and Chekov has gone back to staring at the floor in embarrassment. “Well, I assume you're here to see the new neural data.” The dark-haired scientist mutters, walking over to a bay of lit up computers.

 

Leonard sighs and heads over, but slows as he walks past a 3D graphing console with a close up of the breach floating in the air. Distance markers are present as well as a bunch of other data that would take him a bit to parse out. “What is this, Mr. Sulu?”

 

Sulu smiles and walks over, but Chekov has recovered and is already there the next second, his face lit up in excitement. “It is a new data scanner! We figured out how zee rift works. Kaiju come out, gate opens. To get successful nuclear detonation, kaiju going in would open zee gate just zee same.”

 

Leonard furrows his brow and looks at both of them. “And it took this long to come to that conclusion?”

 

Sulu frowns when Chekov's face falls. “That's not it. The kaiju has to be alive. It's not as easy as it sounds. I mean, if we could get a kaiju to strap some explosives on and jump back in, that'd be great. Besides, it's not like all of our funding before was going toward figuring out the rift. Jaegers and kaiju were turned into a freakin' sport before things got ugly.”

 

Leonard pinches at the bridge of his nose and groans. “So what now?”

 

Chekov jumps back in, chipper attitude restored. “We are making a machine to mimic zee kaiju signature! It is... well, taking longer than we thought...”

 

Leonard snorts. “Time ain't exactly on our side, boys. So far that algorithm you put together for occurrences has been pretty spot on. We got a week until we have a triple event.”

 

“We're aware.” Sulu sighs, sharing a disparaging look with Chekov. “I hate to say it, but we might have to kamikaze this shit... Pike didn't like hearing it and I'm sure no one else will, but the only thing that's getting a live kaiju back in the rift is a jaeger.”

 

“Fuck,” Leonard says with plenty of feeling. He really hopes it doesn't come to that. Uhura and Spock are a courageous pair, he has no doubt that they would be the first raising their hands for such a mission. He doesn't think he'd allow it, and would probably lay at the jaeger's feet in a bid to stop them. It hurts to consider their lives less in any way just because there's a vast population of defenseless people out there depending on them, but it's the truth and his refusal to honor their choice would be disrespectful and selfish. “I guess it's good to have a Plan B, even if it is shitty,” he concedes wearily, feeling a year older with every minute.

 

Chekov smacks the paneling of the graphing console and gives Leonard a fierce look. “Do not worry, sir. We will have zee machine ready soon. We will not let our family be hurt.”

 

“You're damn right,” Sulu says with conviction, putting his arm around Chekov's shoulders.

 

Leonard swallows against the sharp feeling that rises in his throat. “When this is all over, drinks are on me.”

 

Chekov grins and nods. “Do not complain when your wallet is empty. I drink like a fish.”

 

Leonard and Sulu both chuckle before they all get back down to the business Leonard had come for. He has a dinner date with a remarkably strong and beautiful woman, one who will kick his ass if he leaves her sitting alone.

 

Hell, she might anyway since he's sure she has heard the latest news.

 

 

xxxx

 

As soon as Uhura sets her tray down in front of Leonard and sits, her mouth is moving. “Is it true? You're going to pilot the Enterprise with Kirk?”

 

Leonard groans and rubs his hands over his face. “Yeah, it's true.”

 

“ _Leonard,_ ” she hisses immediately, “what the hell are you doing? Is this okay?”

 

He knows she's only concerned for him despite her tone. “I know, I know... I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Pike pretty much ordered it. Kirk wrangled me into a hanbo match with him, and Pike saw. It went pear-shaped from there.”

 

“That dumbass _Kirk_ -” Uhura begins, but her anger seems to get the best of her mouth and she only goes on to make frustrated noises and hand gestures that look a lot like strangulation.

 

Leonard can't help the grin that pulls at the corner of his mouth before he's somber again. “I should maybe fill you in on something else that happened...”

 

Uhura stops her imaginary choking of Kirk and looks at him with dawning horror, like she already knows what's coming. “Please, please, _please_ tell me you didn't sleep with him.”

 

Leonard only has to look guilty for a split second before Uhura throws her hands up and glares at him. “I'm sorry, I don't think we can be friends anymore.” She says with fake terseness.

 

Leonard laughs lowly. “Yeah right, who else is going to listen to you about Spock?”

 

Uhura rolls her eyes, but smiles wanly. “Well then, did you have a good time?”

 

Leonard blushes bright red and glowers when she snickers at his reaction.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“It's a none of your damn business.”

 

Uhura tuts at his tone before dropping the playful act and adopting a serious look. “Really, Len. Are you going to be okay?”

 

“I'll let you know after we link up tomorrow morning.” He rubs vigorously at the back of his neck, staring daggers at his meatloaf. “Shit, Ny, please tell me this won't be a disaster...”

 

Uhura's hand slides over to cover the one he has clenched on the table by his tray. He looks up at her motherly smile. “It won't be a disaster.”

 

Leonard swallows and exhales from his nose.

 

Uhura gives his hand a pat before she pulls hers away and goes on to idly ask about the Vulcan repairs as she starts twirling spaghetti around her fork.

 

Leonard maybe loves her a lot and if anything motivates him to get in that jaegar, it's knowing he'll be part of another team that will have the Vulcan's back in a kaiju fight.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard takes the steps to Hanger Bay One like he's a man headed toward his execution. He'd tossed and turned in bed until the early hours of morning only managing to catch a few hours of sleep. His mind had nagged at him relentlessly with Kirk's words interspersed. He wants to trust the other man with his memories, trust that he truly won't think any less of him, but Leonard is not known for his optimism. Put him in a tactical meeting and he's the guy with the worst-case scenarios, it's understandable that he doesn't get invited to them very often.

 

He steps into the control room for the hangar bay to see Scotty at his station with Pike at his back, Kirk standing just off to the side. They are in the middle of a conversation, but Pike breaks it off when he turns to address Leonard, a pleased smile on his face.

 

“Leonard, so glad you could join us.”

 

“Well, that makes one of us,” Leonard grumbles, moving to stand by Kirk who offers him a supportive grin and gives him a brief sideways hug. He would be annoyed if he wasn't so busy being charmed by the giddy relief he sees in Kirk's eyes.

 

Pike raises a brow at both of them speculatively before turning to Scotty. “Let's get these boys suited up, Scotty.”

 

“Aye, sir. She's a wee bit different from the last time ye were in her, Jim. Ye're gonna love the upgrades.”

 

“I'm sure I will.” Kirk says happily, before turning away. Leonard follows him out of the control room and across the grated walkway to the prep room trying to ignore his jittering nerves.

 

He strips down to his briefs, glowering over at Kirk when he whistles. Kirk just grins and tosses him a wink before putting his clothes in his locker and pulling out his circuitry suit.

 

It figures that Leonard finds himself caught up in the curves of Kirk's shoulder blades as he shoves his arms into the front of his suit. The blond bends to put his legs in next and Leonard's eyes trail to his ass and thighs, both muscled masterpieces and Leonard shakes his head at himself. Now is not the time for this shit, but he has to admit it felt nice to be distracted for a moment.

 

Once in their first layer, they head into the adjoining room where techs are already waiting to help them with their drive suit. The suit is a sealed polycarbonate shell with full life support and magnetic interfaces at spine, feet, and all major limb joints. It's _really_ uncomfortable, well, for _him_ anyway. He doesn't like the feeling of being so encased. He needs the air touching his fingertips and the loose shift of his clothes.

 

He's out of it during the whole process so he starts when Kirk smacks a hand to his shoulder. The room is empty now, everyone else headed back to repair duties. “You ready, Bones?”

 

Leonard swallows and stares at Kirk, trying to convey how scared he is, for once not trying his damnedest to hide. It's not that he's scared of chasing the rabbit per se... but more that he's terrified of letting everyone down. So much rides on the jaeger pilots these days... they're basically the last line of active defense. And... he let his father down, in the worst way. He doesn't want to be responsible like that ever again... he doesn't want that weight on his shoulders. It will break him.

 

Suddenly warm lips are on his and they don't shift or press, they simply rest against his, the air from Kirk's nose tickling at his face.

 

“You keep forgetting,” Kirk whispers, every movement of his lips felt. “We're in this together. That means in every decision, every step, everything that happens in that jaeger and even out of it.”

 

Leonard feels his heart swell painfully at the words and Kirk leans back so they can look at each other without going cross-eyed. “Okay,” Leonard rasps back. It's the only thing he can say, the only word he can get out.

 

Kirk nods once and tips his head toward the exit, then he turns to leave the room, and Leonard follows him.

 

They make their way through a winding hall and then out onto a deck that rests next to the Enterprise's head. The door into the cockpit is wide open and there's just one tech outside waiting for them. The brown haired man, Evan or maybe Ethan, smiles at them as they pass over the threshold, Kirk giving him a grinning salute in return.

 

Leonard takes in a steadying breath and goes to stand before the motion rig as the door is sealed behind them. He stares down at the open platform as random memories of his time with his father pass over him. They're not all bad, but he still pushes them away. He doesn't want anything to affect his head-space before he's even locked in.

 

He looks over at Kirk who has already locked his feet in and is waiting patiently for Leonard. “Come on, Bones, take the red pill.”

 

Leonard chuckles at the old movie reference and shakes his head, stepping forward to finally lock his feet into the rig. The control arm brings their helmets down, the whirring of interlocking machinery filling up the silence before the comm crackles to life.

 

“All strapped in, eh?” Scotty's voice says good-naturedly.

 

“Like pigs in a blanket, Scotty.” Kirk says, grin shining over at Leonard from behind his faceplate.

 

“Oi, shut it, ye're makin' me hungry.” Scotty growls, but there's obvious amusement in his tone.

 

“Engage the drop, Scotty.” Leonard says, maybe more than a little eager to get this over with.

 

“Aye, engaging drop.”

 

The motion rig jiggles them around some as machinery starts up outside, locks sliding out of place so the head of the jaeger can make its descent to the body. Leonard closes his eyes as they're jostled a bit roughly in the drop and his stomach rises up and hovers inside his ribcage.

 

He feels Kirk's hand squeeze his for a second as the cranial chassis connects with the rest of the suit. The gesture is immensely reassuring and helps center him so he can open his eyes.

 

The HUD is lit up before him with running diagnostics, and a computerized female voice begins to softly check off each successful start up. It's only a handful of seconds more before the voice finishes and says, “Neural bridge initializing.”

 

Leonard swallows and meets Kirk's eyes.

 

Scotty's voice comes back over the comm. “Initiating neural handshake in ten... nine... eight...”

 

Kirk holds eye contact with him through the countdown, and Leonard wonders at the blueness of those eyes here in this setting with the heads up display giving them an ethereal glow.

 

“Three... two... one.”

 

There's a sudden flash of cornfields and then he's jumping into a sparkling lake with a sandy-haired boy next to him, laughing and yelling, “Cannonball!” He sees a beautiful blonde woman smiling down at him with Kirk's lips and eyes- _No, it's Jim._ He doesn't like Kirk. _That's right, Bones._

 

Leonard comes back to himself with a start, navigating out of the tangle of Jim's consciousness, but keeping it close. Jim's mind is warm and inviting, curling around him protectively.

 

Jim is smiling softly at Leonard from his suit and he gives him a nod. _I missed this._

 

 _Me too._ Leonard thinks, knowing that Jim is seeing his own childhood filled with climbing trees, picking peaches, drinking ice cold tea, and horseback riding.

 

“Neural handshake holdin' strong, fellas.” Scotty says delightfully over the comm. “How about givin' us a wave?”

 

Leonard moves at the same time as Jim, their right arms rising and waving. There's a window open on the HUD that shows the hangar bay and he sees techs standing on walkways, clapping. It's been a while so he's nearly forgotten the tradition of cheering for new pilots, though they're far from new pilots, he knows everyone there understands the significance of a new drift.

 

“Left and right brain hemispheres are at one hundred percent. Stretch those legs, now.”

 

Leonard feels the second Jim complies with the command and they lift their right, then left legs simultaneously, shifting the suit's weight from foot to foot.

 

“Vera nice!” Scotty praises as Leonard and Jim extend their right arm and flex the fingers.

 

Leonard can't help but grin over at Kirk, feeling exhilarated. Kirk looks just as amped up by their connection, by the ease with which they move.

 

Everything is going amazingly well right up until they're swinging out their left arm and Leonard gets a sudden flash of phantom pain before falling into a memory of the heads-up display flashing red letters at him: LEFT ARM, CRITICAL DAMAGE. Leonard almost feels it being torn clean off the next second, jolts back to the present before falling back just in time to see Sam as he's ripped from his motion rig, helplessness and fear spiking through the connection between the brothers.

 

“Ye're out of alignment!” Scotty suddenly yells. “What's going on, Jim?”

 

“Oh god, I'm sorry.” Jim apologizes, voice rough and scratchy, but Leonard barely hears him. He's already teetering off balance and into a nightmare of his own. He's not chasing the rabbit, the rabbit is dragging him behind it by an iron chain. There's no fight, no chance, he sees the moment and he's gone...

 

Leonard is standing beside his father's disease ravaged form in that white, so white hospital bed all huddled up and small, no longer the man Leonard had once known. He's asking Leonard to do something unthinkable and Leonard is shaking his head but his hand is reaching out...

 

_Bones..._

 

He has to make it look like an accident. It can't be traced back to him or he'll lose everything he has left. It won't be excused. And his father is watching him through bruised eyes surrounded by brittle paper skin, needle poised near the IV drip and he's whispering, “I love ya, Len. I love ya, son.” And Leonard thinks it's his heart he feels curling into itself, all the valves collapsing and crumpling.

 

Then he's injecting the needle into the stream, and he's watching in horror as the jumping line on the screen flattens out and goes and goes and goes...

 

_Bones! Let it go, let go..._

 

The shrill constant of the noise follows him for hours, then days, and it's still there in the back of his mind when he gets the email two weeks out.

 

They found a cure...

 

_Bones, please._

 

_I gotta shut 'er down, Jim..._

 

He sees how many bottoms of a bottle he can reach before he blacks out but the pain doesn't stop. He drinks and he drinks and he hurts and the pain is so bad, all over his body ravaging him inside and out and he killed his father...

 

He's a murderer. Why couldn't he just have waited? How could he do that to his own father? How could he, it hurts...

 

Leonard feels hands on his face and one slides up smoothing back sweaty locks but he doesn't see anything except his father's lifeless eyes. Sees his own staring back at him in the mirror full of accusation and blame... for not waiting, for being so heartless...

 

_Bones, you're not, okay? You're not._

 

But he is! He's ruthless and cold, his own father. He can never forgive himself, not ever...

 

_BONES!_

 

He comes back to the present with a great gasp, finds himself shaking in Jim's arms on the floor of the cockpit, cheeks wet.

 

“You're not, you're not.” Jim whispers into his hair, kissing his temple gently.

 

Leonard abruptly pulls from his arms, feeling raw all over. It's like his skin has been peeled back and he's sitting there with all the muscle and sinew grossly showing.

 

He scrambles up and wipes at his cheeks, ignoring Jim trying to get his attention. It's incredibly relieving to see the cockpit door slide open. He heads for it immediately and rushes down the walkway to the secondary prep room, ready to be out of his drive suit.

 

The two techs who help him out of his suit are solemn and quiet, and he knows they can't find their words mostly because they know him as the base grouch or they were very much aware of how well the drift didn't go. He's grateful for their silence though and manages a rusty thanks as he leaves the room, desperate to put space between he and Jim.

 

He doesn't bother to remove the circuitry suit in his single-minded desire to get back to his room. He wants to curl up on his bed and pulls the covers over his head, he wants darkness and quiet, but he feels Jim there somehow. The other pilot is with him now and Leonard feels the way his mind cringes along the edges of their connection, like the seam is a hot brand he's straining to move away from.

 

As soon as he's safely ensconced in his room, he rips the suit off and throws it on the table before climbing into bed and wedging his back into a corner. He wraps the blanket around himself and buries his face in his arms, only feeling slightly less exposed.

 

What a disaster! The whole thing had been so pointless.. He knew this would happen, he knew he wouldn't be able to drift, and now Jim had seen everything. And wasn't that the worst of it? That someone knew what he'd done now... It made him feel sick, it made his nerves burn with anxiety.

 

He acknowledges the hopes he'd had... a chance to drift with someone again. It had been a very tempting draw. Drifting is something sacred to him. A chance to really connect with a human being, to truly know you're not alone. He thinks he had missed that most. The last couple of years had been the loneliest he'd ever known.

 

And then Jim had come along. All sunny smiles and summer blue eyes.

 

Leonard misses him terribly in that moment, even though he had been the one to run away. A minute ago he had wanted to be as far away as he could get, but now he yearns to be in the blond's arms.

 

His mind stops trying to separate from the new memories and embraces them. He knows he hadn't had enough time to adjust to Jim's mind, and he recognizes now how different the blond's mind is from his father's.

 

David had felt cool and dusky, like a breeze in late Autumn while Jim is like the sun in the height of Summer, bone-deep warm and ready to illuminate all the dark spaces.

 

His heart leaps in his chest when someone starts banging on his door. “Bones, open up! You're not doing this, alright? I said we were together in this and that hasn't changed.”

 

Leonard hurriedly scoots off the bed and opens the door without hesitating, goes willingly into Jim's arms when the blond sweeps into the room to pull him into a hug. “I'm sorry. That was my fault.”

 

Leonard shakes his head against Jim's shoulder. “This was hard on both of us, damn it...”

 

Jim takes a moment to close the door and peel out of his own circuitry suit before he pulls Leonard to the bed and lays down with him. He snakes his arms and legs around Leonard like some kind of octopus, then presses their foreheads together.

 

“God... I already want to drift with you again.” Jim says, voice raw with feeling.

 

Leonard frowns and huffs out an exasperated breath. “I'd say you're crazy after what happened... but... I do, too.”

 

“I know it went a bit south, but when we first connected.... I didn't know how bad I missed that... and Jesus, Bones... your mind just... you let me in. You just let me in. I knew you were afraid of drifting... but you weren't afraid of me.”

 

Leonard sighs gently, nuzzles closer. “I don't think I was even aware... to be honest. I was sure it would go to hell from the start... I guess you're special or something.” He grumbles, adopting light sarcasm at the end to mask the truth of the words.

 

Jim laughs lightly and presses a kiss to Leonard's forehead.

 

A long, quiet moment passes between them before Jim speaks again, voice low and reverent. “You're so strong, Bones...”

 

Leonard frowns and lets his eyes trail aimlessly over the faint freckles on Jim's cheeks. “Yeah, obviously. Did you get that from earlier?” He says miserably.

 

Jim pulls back some and looks very seriously at Leonard, free hand coming up to cup his cheek. Leonard feels butterflies flutter nervously in his stomach at the intensity of the other man. “This isn't just about what you did for your dad, Bones.” He murmurs softly, thumb brushing at his jaw, and dread sneaks slowly across Leonard's chest. “You had to drift with him for so long... you experienced that disease with him, felt it as it ate you up from the inside. You were _dying_ with him, Bones. And that's...” Jim pauses, eyes shimmering in the low light. Pain blossoms from fractures Jim's mind has created in his walls and he presses closer to Jim in a sense of self-preservation. “It's not something you come back from okay. And damn it,” He scolds sadly, hand going to Leonard's arm and squeezing. “You just... you dealt with that alone. You never told _anyone_.”

 

Leonard can feel his eyes growing hot as he looks into those fierce blue eyes, sees the sadness there and the almost overwhelming love.

 

“So yeah, you are unbelievably strong... and _fuck_ , but I wish I had been here for you.” Jim gasps out shakily, a tear escaping his right eye and sliding solemnly down his cheek. “I can barely stand it, knowing that you've carried that all this time.”

 

Leonard can't hold it back anymore, the sob comes up and then it's out, and Jim pulls him tight into his arms.

 

A sharp feeling of wrongness jabs at him, tells him to shut up and stop crying. It's the same one that has kept him together all this time. Told him to keep putting one foot in front of the other, because if he stops, even for a moment... if he stops...

 

“It's okay to be scared,” Jim sniffles into his shoulder, once again seeming to read Leonard's thoughts. “You can let go now, because I'm here, okay? You can fall, it's not permanent. I'll pick you up and I'll put you back together.”

 

So he falls, and feels every piece as it shatters apart. And he clings to Jim as tears run down his face and don't stop. He cries for his father, because he never let himself. He cries for all the time he spent feeling worthless when each serum sample came back with no hope. He cries for the piece of soul that left him when he helped that monitor flat-line. And most of all, he cries for that too late cure.

 

Jim holds him and Leonard feels the gentle shake of the blond's body, the wet warmth at his shoulder, and he loves the other man suddenly, fiercely.

 

He loves Jim.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Jim wakes up from his doze when Bones shifts sleepily against him. He strokes at the dark-haired man's temple, letting his fingers thread back through short locks. Bones settles back into sleep and Jim gently kisses each red-rimmed eye.

 

He lies there for some time just letting his eyes trace over the tech's sleeping features. He feels like he's returned home from some agonizingly long leave, but that wouldn't necessarily make sense, would it? So why did Bones feel like he'd always been there? The other man is artfully tangled inside Jim's mind like he'd had all their lives to make such intricate pathways, to insinuate himself so profoundly.

 

“I'm so happy to know you,” Jim murmurs softly, feeling so content he never wants to move from this spot.

 

He dozes some more, infinitely grateful that no one has bothered them after the failed drift, and if he knows Pike at all, he anticipates the other man will give them the day to recover.

 

He nuzzles closer when Bones gives a soft grunt, left hand raising sluggishly to rub at his face.

 

“Ugh, my eyes feel like a sandpaper factory,” Bones mutters in a gravel-rough voice.

 

Jim kisses the strip of neck by his lips and then pulls away to stretch out cramped limbs. “You wanna take a shower?”

 

Bones is quiet a moment like he's still half-asleep and needs time to process words. “Yeah... actually, that sounds good.”

 

Jim grins and rolls over to straddle Bones' waist, still in the special satin-like boxer briefs male pilots are made to wear with the circuitry suits. “It'll be great,” he says, tone sultry.

 

Jim starts to laugh when Bones tries to look at him suggestively with most of his brain function still offline. It gets him a shove off the bed which Jim figures he deserved. It doesn't stop him from retaliating by shedding his briefs and sauntering into the bathroom. He keeps his laughter to himself when he hears Bones swear and start to move off the bed.

 

He's got the shower at the perfect temperature when Bones slides in behind him, and Jim turns into his arms.

 

Jim meets Bones halfway when he leans in for a kiss, their mouths sliding together lazily, bodies pressed together with the spray hitting them at the waist. They're both half-hard but there's no hurry to turn this into something passionate.

 

“Close your eyes and bow your head,” Jim murmurs, grabbing the shampoo. Bones stares at him in surprise for a second, but obediently bows his head.

 

Jim smiles and puts a glob of shampoo in his hand, then works it into Bones' dark hair. The other man groans as Jim scrubs methodically across his scalp. He stays quiet himself during the process, enjoying how easy it becomes to move Bones around as he needs.

 

By the time the conditioner is washed out, Bones is holding tight to his hips in order to stay upright, looking a lot like he could fall asleep standing up. Jim snickers softly and pulls him into a hug. He feels his heart melt impossibly more when Bones sighs and rests his cheek along his shoulder, completely relaxed.

 

“I like you like this, less grumpy and more cuddly.” Jim teases. He gasps when Bones bites his shoulder then shudders when his tongue replaces teeth. Jim rubs up against Bones deliberately, breath starting to come a little faster.

 

Bones flattens him against the wall of the shower and nips up Jim's neck to his ear where he tugs on the lobe, again soothing the sting of the bite with his tongue. Jim is fully hard now, squirming restlessly against Bones who is just as turned on. A loud moan is pulled from him when Bones lines both of their cocks next to each other and pumps them at the same time.

 

The dark-haired man keeps up a steady, unchanging pace that has them both groaning and panting. Jim pulls Bones' mouth to his when his moans start turning into high whimpers and he's maybe a little embarrassed about it. Bones smiles knowingly against his mouth and Jim growls... or possibly, mewls. “Come on,” he rasps, giving Bones' bottom lip a sharp nip and gripping his ass.

 

Bones brings one hand up suddenly and grips his jaw, kisses him deep. He sucks on Jim's tongue at the same moment he applies more pressure to his strokes and Jim comes hard within a couple swipes, swearing unintelligibly against Bones' mouth. The other man isn't far behind him, panting and moaning lowly as he comes.

 

They stay leaning together on the wall for long moments to recover before separating to finish showering.

 

“You want to see if Janice can whip us up some sandwiches?” Jim asks conversationally as he soaps up his chest. “We can eat them on the observation deck. It should be pretty peaceful since most of the repairs are done.”

 

Bones gives him a small, almost shy, but obviously happy smile and nods, in the process of scrubbing his arms. It's a tight fit, but unsurprisingly they navigate the small shower space like shifting puzzle pieces. They graze against each other but are never in the way of the other. It's an experience Jim wouldn't mind repeating indefinitely.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Jim munches blissfully on the ham sandwich Janice had graciously fixed up, feet swinging idly off the platform that overlooks Hangar Bay One. Bones is next to him with his own sandwich and when Jim turns to look at him, he finds the other man watching him in amusement.

 

“Enjoying your sandwich, hm?” Bones says teasingly, doing a quick mirror of Jim that is totally not accurate. He was _not_ making a doofy face like that nor was he kicking his legs like a spaz.

 

Jim glares and leans into the tech. “I'd rather be enjoying you,” he says around the food in his mouth, making kissy lips that he attempts to put on Bones' face.

 

Bones laughs and pushes him away. “Jesus, such an infant.”

 

“You started it,” Jim pretend pouts.

 

Bones huffs and sets his half-eaten sandwich on his tray, leaning back on his hands. “You know, it feels like I had a brother now... it's so weird.”

 

Jim stares down at his sandwich and nods in understanding. “It feels like I had a father...”

 

Bones sighs and scoots over so their thighs line up against each other. It feels nice and has a grounding effect on his mind which had started to wander into dark territory.

 

“I'm sorry... about Sam.” Bones murmurs softly.

 

Jim tilts his head to catch Bones' eye. “We knew what we were getting into... we knew the risks.”

 

Bones looks down, brow crinkling in his fight to find the right words. “I just... I'm here for you, too, okay? I know you... you like to put up this image that everything is fine, but you don't have to be that way with me.”

 

Jim feels affection suffuse his chest in a warm blanket and rests his right temple on Bones' left shoulder. “I miss him a lot... but, this... being here with you, as long as I have this, it doesn't hurt so much. Just stay, okay? Don't go anywhere.”

 

“Sure, kid.” Bones whispers reverently, right hand sliding around the back of Jim's neck, lips pressing a kiss to the top of Jim's head.

 

Yeah, he's pretty in love with Bones.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

They spend a while longer relaxing on the observation deck before deciding the best course of action going forward would be to talk to Pike.

 

So that's how they find themselves outside the man's door, waiting to be seen. It doesn't take long, maybe a couple minutes before Pike beckons them inside. His office is a fairly large space decorated by the strange clash of leather furniture in a mostly metallic environment. A hefty section of the east wall houses an expansive monitor which is currently displaying occurrence readings and damage totals.

 

Pike leads them to a sofa and a one-seater, the latter he takes for himself, and then waits for them to sit and get comfortable. “I'm not going to stop you both from drifting again, if that's what you came here to talk about.”

 

Jim blinks in surprise, senses the similar echo in the straightening of Bones' posture.

 

“I didn't believe this would go off without any hiccups or setbacks due to the pasts that drove you both from piloting in the first place.” Pike clasps his hands before him and looks at them both seriously. “But I know great pilots when I see them, and you two... I don't think you realize just how in sync you are.”

 

Jim glances over at Bones just as Bones tosses a look his way.

 

“See, like that, and when you entered the room. You move like planets in orbit. You're fluid and always conscious of where the other is.” Pike grins then and shakes his head. “I have a feeling that once you're out there those kaiju are going to regret coming around.”

 

Jim feels a swell of pride that he sees reflected in Bones' eyes.

 

“That being said, we'll try another link up tomorrow morning and if all goes well, I'll have the Enterprise do a sweep of the borders. Sound good?” Pike asks them, brows raised.

 

Jim grins and does a dorky salute. “Yes, sir. It'll be the best border sweep that ever sweeped... swept... happened.”

 

Bones laughs with exasperation and Pike rolls his eyes.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Bones invites Jim to eat dinner with he and Uhura that night in the mess hall. Jim can tell Bones is surprised when he sees Spock sitting next to Uhura at the table, though Uhura looks particularly unfazed at Jim's presence.

 

“Someone's social tonight.” Jim comments teasingly, eyes on Spock.

 

Spock regards him coolly but doesn't respond. The plate in front of him is stacked full of vegetables and other vegan preferences. Uhura's tray looks just as full but with actual meat present.

 

“We're building up our strength for later. There's going to be a Category 4 around midnight.” Uhura tells them before popping a piece of steak in her mouth.

 

“Well, you should be plenty ready for it. I updated the neural transfer circuits, your reaction time is gonna be smooth as butter. And Scotty even pitched in with some hydraulics upgrades. One punch K.O.'s.” Bones says proudly, settling down at the table in front of the other pair.

 

Jim sits next to him, smiling at Bones' delighted expression. Bones really did enjoy being a tech despite the grumbling he did over it.

 

“See, you guys are the real heroes.” Uhura says with utter seriousness. “We wouldn't do much good to anyone without those amazing suits.”

 

Bones scoffs at her. “Drifting isn't a cakewalk. You gotta have some balls to face those bastards down. And you have balls, darlin', big balls.”

 

Uhura laughs and Spock scrunches his face up marginally. “Please refrain from unsavory and anatomically incorrect references during our meal.”

 

Bones snorts in disbelief. “He speaks!”

 

Spock arches a brow, but says nothing more and returns to the methodical ingestion of his food.

 

“So short-lived.” Jim says, grinning over at Bones who looks back with just as much amusement.

 

“What's short-lived?” Gary Mitchell butts in, plopping rowdily beside Jim at the table.

 

Jim beams at his old friend and claps him on the back. Though they haven't had much time to hang out lately, they had been messaging each other through their comms frequently. “Spock said words.”

 

Gary gasps theatrically. “What? I missed such a historic moment?”

 

Uhura tries to look mad but the curl of her lips gives her away. “Quit picking on my man before I take you all out.”

 

Bones puts his hands up in surrender, and Jim and Gary pretend to cower when she looks their way.

 

“I see Uhura is putting the boys in their places again.” Elizabeth Dehner snickers as she walks up, sitting next to Gary who slings an arm around her shoulders and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Hey, we're not boys, we're men.” Gary growls, affecting an over-the-top husky drawl.

 

“Yeah! Men!” Jim chimes.

 

Bones tries to hold back his laugh but it just comes out with a raspberry noise.

 

“Bones! We are men. We're men!” Jim whines, throwing hurt puppy eyes at him.

 

“ _We're men, we're men_.” Bones mocks in a falsetto voice to Uhura who bursts out laughing.

 

“ _We say this with pink cupcakes on our trays_.” Uhura says, keeping the mocking going.

 

Jim looks down at the cupcake on his tray decorated with pink icing and then at the identical one on Gary's tray. He frowns and glares at Uhura and Bones. “Cupcakes are delicious. You're never too manly for a cupcake.”

 

“Yeah!” Gary interjects.

 

Elizabeth, Uhura, and Bones erupt in a round of noisy, awkward coughing. Jim is pretty sure he hears a badly covered _“Yes, Princess.”_

 

“I hate you all.” Jim sulks.

 

“Seconded.” Gary says sullenly.

 

They all keep up the light-hearted conversation throughout dinner and part with smiles, Bones telling the Vulcan pilots to be safe tonight. Jim takes his hand in a comforting gesture as they walk back to Bones' room.

 

“They'll be fine. It's just one kaiju.”

 

Bones nods, but Jim can tell the worry still sits heavy on his shoulders.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard jolts awake when Jim heaves up into a sitting position beside him with a gasp. It takes a moment for him to acknowledge the obnoxious banging on the room's door.

 

“Jim! Len! There is no time, we need you now! Werkh! Toropit!” Chekov yells from outside.

 

Jim is already up and swinging the door open. “What? What is it?”

 

Leonard sits up and really looks at Chekov. The young man is flushed red and panting, terror in his eyes. “Kaiju! Triple event! _Dorogoy Bog_!”

 

Leonard is out of his bed in a flash. “What the fuck do you mean triple event?!”

 

“No time! You must drift now! Vulcan is in big trouble! Precog, too!”

 

Leonard meets Jim's eyes for a split second before they're both rushing out of the room in their boxers, Chekov skittering along frantically behind them.

 

“It happened as it was supposed to! One kaiju! Category 4, but then there were two more!” Chekov blurts, hands holding his head like it hurts. “I don't know how zis could've happened. The algorithm has never been zis off!”

 

Leonard is trying his best not to let Chekov's frantic mood transfer to him, but he's scared. He tries to bury it under gritty determination and the mantra that they will get there in time, they will.

 

The suit up is done in record time, no words exchanged with anyone as they hurry into the head of the Enterprise and lock themselves in.

 

The control arm can't lower Leonard's helmet down fast enough. He's buzzing with nerves and the need to _go_ and _do_ and _help_. As soon as his helmet connects to the drive suit and powers up, Leonard is already barking through the comm line, “Engage drop, Scotty!”

 

“One step ahead o' ye, Len.” Scotty's voice crackles back and Leonard hears the roar of the machinery that will lower the jaegar head onto its body as it starts up. “T'fill ye in, Vulcan already took one kaiju down and they're currently engaged with the third. The second bypassed them completely and hit the coast of Japan. The Wei Tang boys tried to stop it, but we lost them... We had Precog go out to meet it after that, but they're both strugglin' now. Vulcan sustained ample damage in the first battle and from these readings, I'm thinkin' these kaiju are a wee bit stronger than the average category 4.”

 

Leonard curses under his breath.

 

“We'll get there in time, Bones. Don't worry.” Jim says with such conviction that Leonard has to close his eyes and send up a prayer that he's right. Then his stomach is bottoming out and they're both swaying in their motion rigs as they drop down.

 

There's a lot of screeching and groaning as couplings shift into place and the entire suit powers on. The heads-up display bursts to life next with start-up diagnostics, all of it reading back in the green. Leonard is already bypassing preliminary comm checks to establish a direct line to the Vulcan.

 

“Attention Vulcan, this is the Enterprise. We are en route to your location and will make-”

 

Leonard is cut off by the sound of metal rending and a gut-wrenching scream. A scream he's pretty sure belongs to Uhura. Even worse is the sound of Spock's agonized cry of her first name.

 

“ _God damn it, son of a bitch, fuck, that hurt!_ ” Uhura hollers over the comm, metal groaning and a kaiju keening in the background.

 

“What the fuck is happening out there, Uhura?!” Jim yells, Leonard too paralyzed with fear to speak first.

 

“This mother fucker just took our arm off from the elbow.” Uhura pants, voice reedy. The neural interface is an intense experience and most damage the jaeger sustains translates into pain impulses. Losing a jaeger limb hurts about as much as losing a real one.

 

“We cannot defend ourselves with one arm for long.” Spock says, letting out an uncharacteristic gasp as the kaiju screeches in the background, the sound of metal twisting and rending.

 

“We're on our way, just hang on!” Jim insists before locking eyes with Leonard. “I need you to get it together, Bones. We can't drift if your emotions are all over the place, okay?”

 

Leonard nods and takes a deep breath, tries to center himself as he listens to the faint countdown to the neural handshake. He can do this, _he has to do this_.

 

“Three, two, one... Initiating neural handshake.”

 

Leonard finds himself behind Jim's eyes, in a memory. Sam is standing beside him, looking out at a beautiful and cold dawn, the sun cresting slowly over snow-covered hills.

 

“If anything ever happens to me, I want you to promise you'll keep fighting.”

 

Leonard feels Jim's irritation at the hypothetical scenario. “Nothing is gonna happen to you. And if it does, it'll happen to both of us.”

 

Sam smirks over at him, a fond look in his blue eyes. They're not as light as Jim's, but they're still enthralling. “Just promise me.”

 

“Whatever.” Jim responds petulantly.

 

Sam chuckles softly and goes quiet for a while as they watch the sun rise.

 

“I have a feeling that we're not it, Jim.” Sam says in a hushed voice. “You're gonna drift with someone else one day... and it'll be like finding a home you didn't know you longed for.”

 

Jim snorts in disbelief. “Sure thing, Nostradamus.”

 

“Brat...” Leonard hears Sam's faint reply as he comes back to himself.

 

 _He was right._ Jim thinks in awe. _I'd almost forgotten about that conversation..._

 

Strangely enough, Jim's memory was just what Leonard needed to focus, to find some calm. Maybe Jim's mind had known somehow... he wouldn't doubt it.

 

 _I know, I know. I'm awesome._ Jim thinks with great amusement.

 

 _So modest, too._ Leonard remarks and he knows Jim senses the mental eye-roll.

 

 _That's me, Jim “Modest” Kirk._ The blond teases.

 

 _Oh, so that's your middle name? I had wondered._ Leonard snarks.

 

 _You don't want to know my actual middle name._ Jim snickers.

 

_Well, seeing as we're of one mind now, I already know._ _**Tiberius** _ _, really?_

 

 _Yeah, really,_ _ **Horatio**_ _._ Jim volleys back with laughter edging his words.

 

He doesn't catch on that Jim has been keeping his thoughts occupied until the shudder of their suit hitting ocean water jolts him into the present.

 

Exasperated anger flashes through their bond, but Jim only throws him an apologetic smile, wincing as Uhura continues to cuss over the comm feed with the kaiju screeching away in the background.

 

Leonard takes a deep breath and forces himself the rest of the way back to the here and now, Jim more than willing to let him go so they can put their muscles into sluicing through the tons of water around them.

 

Uhura's shouts drive him on and scare the living mess out of him at the same time. He's more than intimate with seconds and all the things that can happen in them.

 

 _No._ Jim snaps at him, forcing his mind away from a particularly fatal rabbit.

 

“Damn it, I'm sorry.” Leonard growls out loud. “Fuck, this is a disaster.”

 

“Hey, now! I'm gettin' some disturbances in the alignment. Cut it o't! This is nae the fuckin' time for that!” Scotty scolds through the comm.

 

“I know you can do this, Bones. If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in me! We're going to get there in time. We're a minute away.” Jim cajoles, voice strained with the exertion of pushing their suit.

 

Leonard sucks in lungfuls of air and nods to himself. He singles out the shift of his muscles and the power needed to go into each movement, relying on Jim to pull him out of his head-space when the time comes.

 

He thinks this shouldn't work as well as it is, but his mind is pliant for Jim, completely open. It's that trust in the other man that keeps them from falling apart. Jim is being so amazing and strong for him, and it's that love for the blond that has him surging back to full awareness when Jim mentally nudges him, a new determination settling within him.

 

Jim gasps loudly next to him, an answering beacon of heart-constricting affection rippling over to Leonard. _Let's show this bastard a good time._

 

Leonard grins and activates the right arm's plasma cannon. Jim moves in tandem with him, all for the idea as they stop short some one hundred yards from the Vulcan and the attacking kaiju.

 

They time it perfectly as the kaiju moves away in order to gather momentum for its next blow, but the blinding blast of their weapon catches it square in the chest. The kaiju erupts with bright ice-blue blood and flails backwards into the water.

 

It sinks swiftly and its screams are drowned as the Enterprise wades over with purpose. Leonard keeps an eye on the HUD readings, knowing the kaiju isn't down just yet.

 

“Uhura. Spock. You guys okay?” Jim asks.

 

“Barely.” Uhura responds breathlessly. “You guys sure have some great timing. The hydraulics went out on us. That one's got a jaw like the side of a mountain.”

 

“This kaiju exhibits extreme cunning. Do not underestimate it.” Spock warns, voice sounding like he had been the one yelling previously instead of Uhura.

 

“One step ahead of ya,” Leonard growls, cluing Jim in to the surprise attack about to happen behind them. They both reach back over their heads just in time to catch the leaping kaiju by its upper jaw, then they twist and bend, heaving the hollering monster straight over their suit and back into the water in front of them.

 

“Let's end this.” Leonard says with a steel edge to his voice as the dark matter pulse launcher in the Enterprise's chest powers up.

 

The kaiju comes up out of the water roaring up a storm, obviously pissed. Leonard could care less and he mirrors Jim's satisfaction when the pulse launcher fires, taking off the kaiju's head and a good part of its left shoulder.

 

“That's the way!” Scotty hoots over the comm suddenly. “Damn fine job, fellas! No time for celebrations though, Precog is on the ropes with the last kaiju in downtown Tokyo. Get yer arses movin'!”

 

Leonard frowns and turns to the visual of the Vulcan. Spock and Uhura have struggled up and out onto the head of their suit. “What's the ETA on the retrieval units?”

 

“Ten minutes.” Scotty supplies impatiently.

 

“We're fine!” Uhura yells in frustration via the comm in the neck of her drive suit, Spock letting her lean tiredly in his arms. “Hurry, Precog needs you. Go, now!”

 

Leonard forces his mind to settle and ease, but there is still part of him that is weary to leave them alone with a broken suit before the retrieval units arrive. Not with kaiju popping up outside of the estimations.

 

Jim's mind huddles around his soothingly, understanding. _Come on, Bones. You know we can't risk another suit. If we lose Precog that's one less suit protecting billions of people. We've already lost too many..._

 

 _I know. I know._ Leonard responds, hating himself for being selfish, for giving Uhura's and Spock's life more worth than the millions of people along the coast. They have families and loved ones, they would be just as devastated to lose those people.

 

The Enterprise is already heading toward the city, Jim helping them move one step ahead of the subconscious resolution Leonard has made.

 

“Gary, Lizzie, we're coming in hot. Two minutes and counting.” Jim comms to Precog. Leonard feels the strain on both of them as they push their suit up the coast and onto land, following the path of destruction the kaiju left.

 

“About time,” Gary replies wearily.

 

“Hurry up,” they hear Elizabeth say in desperation. “Gary! _The tail!_ ”

 

“I got it!” He hollers, the sound of his grunts mixed with creaking metal.

 

“ _Fuck!_ ” Leonard bites out in frustration, reaching out the right arm of the suit with Jim in the simultaneous idea to pick up a shipping container from the bay as they pass.

 

When they arrive on the scene a mile into the city, Precog is mushed up against a high-rise by the kaiju. The ugly scorpion-looking monster has its tail wrapped around their left arm, ready to crush it, but Jim and Bones swoop in, uppercutting the kaiju in the face with the shipping container.

 

It screeches and reels backwards, falling to the ground. Its tail remains curled around Precog's arm, and Leonard's more vengeful side activates the chain-sword. The sword comes out like a metal rope at first before solidifying into a blade, the method allowing for compact carrying. _Aw hell yeah,_ he hears from Jim. Leonard grins to himself and then they're both heaving the sword up and cutting the tail clean off.

 

Sickly blue blood sloshes in a waterfall to the ground, the kaiju writhing violently in the destroyed streets and making a ruckus.

 

Jim and Leonard don't wait for it to recover, they straddle its squirming mass and drive the sword into its head, both yelling out vehemently.

 

The kaiju ceases moving but Leonard has them pull the sword out and drive it into the heart. Jim doesn't comment, only helps by twisting the blade from side to side after.

 

“Fuck you very much,” Leonard rumbles under his breath, glaring hard at the downed kaiju on the HUD as he yanks the chain sword out.

 

 _You're turning me on so much right now,_ Jim thinks at him, a flare of desire cycling between them. He sees himself as Jim sees him and he has to admit the fierce look on his face coupled with the conviction in his voice and stance make a heady combo. _Warrior, my warrior, amazing. Want you._ Jim thinks next in a jumble.

 

Leonard huffs and rolls his eyes, working to calm them both down. “Priorities, Jim.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Jim sighs out, but there's a promise left unsaid. An image of Leonard spread out on a bed.

 

“Damn it, Jim.” He gasps out.

 

Jim laughs and then Scotty is interrupting them about damage reports and ETAs on suit retrievals.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

The Enterprise is dropped off near the hangar bay where they stomp in and secure it back into its holding compartment to undergo repairs. Luckily, they didn't sustain much damage if any at all. Leonard is pretty sure a tune-up will be all that's required.

 

The Vulcan on the other hand...

 

He pauses with Jim at the foot of the mangled jaeger, both of them still in their drive suits. “That's going to take a millennium to repair.” He groans, leaving out the fact that they'll probably all be dead by then.

 

Jim settles a supportive hand on his shoulder, most likely tuned into Leonard's line of thinking like usual.

 

A portion of the tech team is already starting repairs on the Vulcan, the dozen or so of them swarming the torso where most of the damage is. There's no time for celebrations, everyone on edge after learning the kaiju no longer seemed to be following a pattern. The next wave could be a quadruple event or something much worse, there was no way of knowing now.

 

“Jim, Len! Emergency meeting. Get up here.” Sulu calls down from up on the walkway surrounding the control room.

 

Leonard heaves a sigh and Jim gives Sulu a salute.

 

They shed their drive suits first and head up to the control room where Scotty, Gary, Elizabeth, Uhura, Spock, Sulu, Chekov, and Pike are all gathered.

 

Leonard meets Uhura's eyes and lets her see how glad he is that she's okay. She responds with a grateful smile, happy crinkles at the corner of her eyes. He knows she's grateful in more ways than one, but he feels he can't take any of the credit. Jim was the one who had kept him together so they were even able to come to the Vulcan's aid.

 

“Alright, people. This is how things are going to go. We're at D-Day. This is it. The kaiju, regardless of the unexpected event, were going to start coming in larger numbers anyway.” Pike looks gravely serious as he speaks, hands clasped tightly behind his back. “I can't tell you how glad I am that we didn't lose any more of our pilots today, thanks to the Enterprise-”

 

“Amen to that.” Gary murmurs appreciatively.

 

“But unfortunately Hong Kong lost their best jaeger team. The Wei Tang triplets were a force to be reckoned with, and we're all a lot worse off without them.” Pike bows his head as does everyone else, familiar with the short period of silence they are allowed to mourn the loss of fellow pilots.

 

After a few minutes, Pike inhales deeply and straightens his shoulders. “We have one last chance to hit that rift now. Chekov and Sulu have formed a blue print for a new machine that will mimic the kaiju signature and allow us access to the throat of the rift. Once it's open, we nuke the hell out of it and put this whole mess behind us once and for all.”

 

Pike turns to Leonard. “Len, I want you and Spock with Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu. I want that machine built within 48 hours and I know the five of you will be the team to get it done.”

 

Leonard nods curtly, and Pike looks to Jim. “Jim, I want you, Uhura, Gary, and Elizabeth helping with repairs and enhancements. We're weaponizing the hell out of Precog and Enterprise, and I've already got the backing of Hong Kong's last two jaeger teams to escort us to the breach when we're ready. We'll also be augmenting Precog to carry the mimic machine as well as our payload. Enterprise is going to be running back-up with the others. We're sidelining Vulcan for the time being. The damage it sustained is too great to be repaired in time. So, are we clear on all that?”

 

“Yes, sir.” They all chime.

 

“Good. Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu are going to get to work. I want everyone else to catch a few hours sleep. I know you're exhausted so make the best of it because there won't be any sleeping for a long time after this. You're dismissed.”

 

They all salute Pike and move from the room. There's a brief group hug between all the pilots in the hall before they say 'good nights' and 'see you laters.'

 

Leonard finally relaxes completely when they get back to his quarters. He lets out a long groan and flops stomach-down on his bed in his briefs.

 

Jim chuckles softly before Leonard feels him climb on and straddle his hips, hands going to his shoulders and digging in.

 

“Oh my god, Jim.” He moans in encouragement, feeling a lot like a melting stick of butter under Jim's massaging fingers.

 

“You did so good today, Bones.” Jim murmurs against his ear, making him shudder.

 

Leonard feels irritation at himself bubble up. “I was a mess, Jim. I only kept it together because of you.”

 

Jim snorts. “There you go again, beating yourself up. You were amazing. Those moves were all you. I wasn't even aware of that chain-sword addition until you whipped it out. You helped design those upgrades, helped build them. We certainly wouldn't have kicked that much ass that fast without someone who was intimately familiar with everything that suit could do. I used to know the Enterprise, but things are a lot different now, even the drive suits are different. I'm still catching up and you're helping me out with that more than you know. We're a team, Bones. This isn't some one-sided thing.”

 

Leonard slowly shifts over onto his back and looks up at Jim. “Come here,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around Jim's neck when he bends down to him. He brings the blond into a deep, languorous kiss.

 

Jim moans and settles his weight over Leonard's hips, making him squirm and press up to get more friction on his cock.

 

“I wanna fuck you, Bones.” Jim mumbles huskily, rolling his hips over him.

 

Leonard gasps and arches his back. “Fuck, yes, please.”  
  


Jim groans in frustration as he moves to pull Leonard's briefs off. “Want to do so many things to you right now... mark up your entire body... suck that gorgeous cock, make you cum on my fingers alone...”

 

Leonard moans and squirms as Jim tosses both their briefs over the side of the bed and slides over him, latching his hot mouth to Leonard's neck.

 

Leonard threads his hands into Jim's hair, grips, and rolls his hips up into Jim. He relishes the stuttering rush of breath that Jim lets out over his collar bone.

 

Jim retaliates by latching onto one of Leonard's nipples with that sinful mouth, fingers pinching the other.

 

“Damn it, Jim, please, fuck, just fuck me now. Please.” He babbles, body jerking in pleasure under Jim's pressing weight. His hands leave Jim's hair and go to clutch at his muscled shoulders restlessly.

 

“Lube?” Jim rasps, staring up at him from where he's mouthed down to Leonard's stomach.

 

Leonard bites into his bottom lip to keep from coming at the sight of Jim, eyes dark with lust, hair a mess, and plush mouth red. He can't remember what Jim had asked him. “Damn it, you're going to kill me.”

 

“I haven't even started.” Jim murmurs huskily before he wedges his shoulders under Leonard's thighs and swallows his hard cock in one go.

 

Leonard shouts wordlessly and struggles against Jim's restraining arms as white-hot pleasure rushes through him. Jim only has to pull back to the crown of his dick and suck once, twice...

 

“ _Uhhghn_ , god.” He chokes as his orgasm breaks him apart into a boneless lump.

 

“Mhmm, I'll never get tired of that. Watching you, hearing you fall apart like that.” Jim says lowly and Leonard jolts when he feels slippery-slick fingers press down and circle his hole. He whines when he realizes that Jim is using Leonard's cum as lube, it's unexpectedly hot and he's still too sensitive to completely enjoy the surge of arousal.

 

“One of these nights, gonna see how many times I can get you to come, Bones. Gonna wear you out, make you feel it for days.” Jim says, voice strained with want as he slips a finger in past the knuckle.

 

Leonard moans weakly, hearing Jim echo the sound as he slips a second digit in with barely any resistance.

 

“Fuck, you're so ready for me, aren't you, Bones? Want my cock bad.” Jim growls, crooking his fingers to press against Leonard's prostate, making the tech exclaim loudly.

 

Leonard pants unsteadily, eyes squeezed closed as the over-stimulated feeling starts sliding back into pleasure, his cock twitching in an effort to grow hard again.

 

He feels Jim lean over him and hot lips press against his ear. “Gonna fill you up so good, Bones. Just like you want... like you need.”

 

Leonard whimpers and turns his head as he brings his hand up to Jim's jaw, forcing the blond into a deep, sloppy kiss. The other man is completely right, Leonard wants Jim bad. He already feels more alive than he has in way too long, fucking years. And it's exhilarating and amazing, and he needs more, so much more.

 

“Please, Jim, please.”

 

He hears Jim's rough exhalation at the plea and he slits open his eyes to watch Jim slick his beautiful, thick cock up. Then Jim is yanking the second pillow down from beside his head and lifting Leonard at the waist easily to shove the pillow under his hips.

 

Jim presses against his entrance the next second, teasing, and Leonard growls, uses his legs to draw Jim closer. Jim huffs a quiet laugh that warbles into a moan when the crown of his cock sinks into Leonard.

 

“Fuck, Jim... _Jim_...”

 

“God, love the way you say my name.” Jim pants, slowly sinking deeper into the tech, hips working in short thrusts that have Leonard gasping and arching into Jim for more.

 

“Jim, _oh god_... Jim...” Leonard pants, moving openly with Jim's thrusts now and crying out when he feels Jim bottom out, cock sliding deliciously against his prostate, lights sparking across his closed lids.

 

“ _Bones_ , feel so damn good.” Jim says, voice lust-thick as he thrusts steadily into Leonard, hitting him just right with each push in so that soon he's writhing and babbling incoherently, cock full and straining from where it bobs between them.

 

All Jim has to do is wrap a hand around him and stroke him once before he's straining up, his second orgasm ripping through him and sinking him into a momentary haze of blissful darkness.

 

He comes back to himself slowly, feels Jim's warm weight over him, the blond panting softly at his shoulder.

 

“Ughn, you okay?” Jim garbles out, seeming to be just as boneless as Leonard feels.

 

Leonard grunts an affirmative and vaguely regrets not being coherent enough to see Jim's orgasm, but he settles on the idea that this wasn't the last time they'll be together like this. He tells himself he has plenty of time to wring orgasms out of Jim as expertly as Jim wrings them out of him.

 

He wraps his arms tight around Jim and prays.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard wakes at the break of dawn, has a cooler than normal shower with Jim to wake up further, and then he's diving headfirst into the mimic machine blueprints.

 

The next forty-eight hours of his life become a headache ridden haze with short but bright meal breaks that he sometimes gets to spend with Jim or at least one of the others. They're all looking as worn out as he feels into the second day, but burgeoning hope is within all of them.

 

For once, things are going their way. Only one kaiju shows up early on the second day, but the two Hong Kong jaeger teams take it down without a fuss. Precog is already augmented and ready for its new additions by mid-morning so that the full force of the tech team has time to devote to the Vulcan repairs, at least ensuring that if back-up is required on their D-Day run, the Vulcan should be ready to assist, or worse comes to worst, be around if everything goes to shit.

 

It's late on the second day, almost 10PM, when they finish up with the mimic machine. Technically it had been almost two hours previous, but they had fallen into a heated argument about testing the machine versus just going in with the assurance of data only. And really, Leonard was 99.9% sure this thing was going to work. There was an organic process in the key to opening the rift, but most of it was all electrical signals. They had taken both into account, but Spock and Sulu were rallying for a test-run.

 

Leonard and Scotty were arguing that a test-run was a waste of time, and Chekov was siding with them despite the moody, betrayed looks Sulu kept throwing his way. There was also the need to consider the ramifications of opening the rift from their end and possibly unleashing a kaiju attack upon themselves the likes of which they hadn't faced yet. There was no way of knowing what exactly was on the other side of the rift and there was no reason to go opening up that bag of tricks ahead of schedule.

 

The plan had been clearly labeled from the beginning anyway. Make the machine, have the jaegers ready, and make the run. If the mimic device didn't work, they were still riding in before a triple event so the rift would be opening regardless. They'd just have the new complication of wrangling a kaiju in and, depressingly enough, it would be Precog taking the kamikaze dive into the rift with it, a predicament both Elizabeth and Gary were fully aware of.

 

Pike marches in to put an end to their squabbling and promptly sends Spock and Leonard off with a stern look before he deals with the rest of them.

 

He and Spock walk stiffly down the hallway together upon leaving and once they come to a corridor they can finally split in, Spock surprisingly stops him with a light hand on his forearm.

 

“I realize that I have not always been forthcoming in my manner towards you, Leonard.”

 

Leonard does a truly remarkable job of containing his snort of agreement. Instead he stares politely back at Spock, curious as to the point he's trying to make. He has a feeling it's somewhat of a tying loose ends type of thing. Is the guy feeling guilty after all this time for his standoffishness? Or is it something Spock is worried about possibly taking into whatever afterlife he has in mind?

 

God, he's so fucking _tired._

 

Spock averts his eyes to the floor then. “Uhura is very fond of you. You are a good friend to her, one that she needs. I, myself, have come to see you as a friend. I hope that you do not think of me otherwise?”

 

Leonard smiles then, oddly endeared to this sudden hesitant side of the otherwise rigid and confident man. “Of course not, Spock.” Leonard hesitates himself, not sure how to say what he feels about it all, but he settles on the simplest version. “I am your friend.”

 

Spock looks up then, a ghost of a smile clinging at the corner of his mouth. “That is most reassuring to hear. I look forward to a future where we may all become better acquainted without such burdens looming over us.”

 

He's not sure why he does it, but he settles a hand on Spock's shoulder and squeezes supportively. Spock seems surprised by the move, but does not flinch away or tense up. If anything, it almost seems as if he leans into it, gathering strength from the simple gesture.

 

“I look forward to that, too, Spock.”

 

Spock nods then, murmurs for him to get adequate rest and leaves to his quarters where Uhura is no doubt waiting.

 

Leonard watches him go for a long moment, feeling strangely forlorn. Part of him hopes he was able to give Spock whatever it was that he had been looking for in their exchange.

 

With a deep breath, he sets off to his own quarters, grinning happily when he meets up with Jim at the perfect moment in the hallway. Jim grins right back and wraps an arm around his shoulders, steering them to Leonard's room.

 

They're both so exhausted that they head immediately for bed and flop down with twin groans of relief. Jim spends a minute wrapping his octopus limbs around Leonard to his liking and then he's out like a light.

 

Leonard uses the last of his strength just looking at Jim in the dim light of the room, hoping that somehow the blond's face will get burned so far into his memory that if he ever is reborn, he'll recall that same face with a strange deja-vu. Maybe he'll go his whole new life dreaming of someone he can't recall meeting... but if they do meet again, in another time, he's absolutely certain he will never forget the way Jim feels. Even if he came back to him with a different face, he'd know Jim.

 

He'd know Jim, maybe not consciously, but his soul would know. Maybe he'd laugh at himself, following this guy around, not knowing why exactly, but follow him, he would.

 

Head on into his biggest fears, into the darkest spaces, through the wildest of rides...

 

Leonard would be right there beside him, as close as he could get.

 

He wouldn't know why, but he would learn, because Jim is bright and beautiful and amazing...

 

Suddenly he lets out a loud, sheepish laugh, freezing in fear that he might've woken Jim up, but the blond stays fast asleep and Leonard relaxes.

 

So that was just the thing. It'd already happened.

 

Jim had found him again.

 

He amuses himself with the notion. Reexamines the way he'd kept his own haphazard tabs on Jim through Pike after he'd left the base... the way his eyes had been drawn to Jim before then, and when he'd found out that Jim's eyes had been looking back at him...

 

Fate, destiny, soul-mates...

 

He smiles wryly, surrounding the words with token sarcasm because he feels like he has to have _some_ resistance in the face of such bone-deep belief.

 

It's nice though... the thought that this isn't the first time they've met.

 

Nor will it be the last.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard wakes up to the feel of Jim placing soft kisses across his face. He smiles and stretches his legs a bit, all of his muscles twinging from overuse and not enough sleep to repair the strain.

 

“Hey,” Jim whispers, kissing his ear before nuzzling his temple beside Leonard's.

 

“Hey,” Leonard murmurs, the arm he has underneath Jim coming up to curl around Jim's back. “Today's the day.”

 

Jim is quiet for a moment and then he sighs. “I don't want them to have to sacrifice themselves, Bones... I'm so afraid for them...”

 

Leonard turns his head so he can kiss the corner of the blond's mouth. “I know, darlin'. I don't want that either...”

 

“We have to look out for them...”

 

“You know we will, Jim.”

 

Jim settles his head on Leonard's shoulder then, right arm curled over Leonard's chest. A sad sort of silence settles between them as they soak in the time they have now, to be together, to be safe.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

They all suit up in silence, the implication of what they're about to do forcing them all into deep introspection.

 

Jim, Bones, Gary, and Lizzie gather on the deck connected to their respective jaeger heads. They look solemnly around at each other before Jim can't stand it and pulls Gary into a tight bear hug, their drive suits making it awkward.

 

“Let's do this and come back home heroes, okay?” Jim says roughly, swallowing against the emotion collecting sharply in his throat.

 

“Hell ya,” Gary responds tightly, letting Jim step back so they can clap gloved hands together and shake on it.

 

Jim turns to see Bones pulling away from Lizzie and giving her an encouraging shake on the shoulder. She smiles widely back at him and gives him a nod before turning to Jim and engulfing him in a hug.

 

“See you later,” she whispers, eyes shining when she steps away.

 

“See you.” Jim murmurs, smiling softly.

 

Bones and Gary share a firm handshake, and then they're splitting up to their jaeger heads.

 

The drop to the body of the jaeger is a silent one, even Scotty only speaking when necessary. And when he and Bones initially link, Jim feels the same grim determination as Bones. There is no thinking ahead, there is only the here and the now and the conviction that this will end well. It has to. No matter what, they're going to close that rift, damn it.

 

Enterprise and Precog meet up with the remaining two jaeger suits at the coast of Hong Kong before making their way out to the breach.

 

The ocean presses in on them, heavier and heavier, the deeper out they go until they're submerged, the floodlights on their suits illuminating the murky, sinister depths around them. Jim starts to feel subtle waves of apprehension from Bones, a lot like the feeling you get when you're sure something bad is about to happen.

 

And, fuck it all, if Scotty doesn't confirm it. “Bad news, fellas.”

 

There's a bright flash far off in front of them and it comes from the direction of the rift.

 

Bones curses under his breath, anger and frustration boiling underneath the surface of his emotions, only marginally calmed by Jim's presence.

 

“Our triple event just fuckin' happened. Looks like we're goin' wi' Plan B.”

 

Jim closes his eyes and already feels the loss of his friends, of more people he cares about.

 

“I'm so sorry, Jim.” Bones rasps lowly.

 

Jim exhales harshly and smacks the comm control. “Gary, Lizzie... you don't have to do this.”

 

“Jim!” Bones hisses.

 

It's Gary's voice that comes across the comm, resolute and strong. “It's okay, Jim. I'm not letting these fuckers kill anymore innocent people. There's already been too much bloodshed by them. We're doing this, and we're getting it done. You hear me? So you guys watch our fucking backs and get us to that rift. _We're ending this_ _today!_ ”

 

Jim clenches his teeth hard, his chest feeling like a steel band is around it, squeezing.

 

“Jim,” Bones says softly, not at all relishing in the fact that their positions are very much reversed. Bones had been just as at odds when Uhura and Spock had been in harm's way. “I know it hurts... but you gotta respect their decision.”

 

“I know.” Jim growls brokenly before sucking in a deep breath and pushing the pain away. He clicks the comm again. “We got your back, Precog.”

 

“Damn right, you do.” Gary says, sounding proud.

 

Scotty speaks up the next second. “More bad news.”

 

Jim tsks loudly. “Give us a break, Scotty.”

 

“Sorry, Jim... but... one o' the kaiju is a Category 5... ye're gonna have yer hands full.”

 

Jim shares a hard look with Bones. They're both so frustrated. What terrible timing, why couldn't they have been an hour early?

 

There's no time to further curse their situation though as Jim gets it together and starts dolling out formations to the other pilots.

 

The two Hong Kong teams, Tai Xiong and Heng Huo, run point ahead of Precog, while the Enterprise lags just behind them.

 

“The two category 4's are headed yer way... but the 5... he's staying by the rift. I have a feeling they saw us coming... dunno how, but that one must be on guard duty.”

 

“It can guard the rift all it wants, but it's not stopping us.” Jim grounds out, eyes on the radar showing the proximity of the approaching kaiju.

 

Tai Xiong makes first contact with the kaiju that looks like a mutant lobster, then not twenty seconds later, Heng Huo is engaged with one that resembles a giant snake with four legs.

 

With the other two kaiju preoccupied, the Enterprise moves past Precog and lines up to meet the Category 5. As they draw closer, Jim tries to assess the kaiju but finds himself flailing for a good description.

 

“Maybe we should just call it Ugly Stick on account of how many times it must've been hit with one?” Bones chimes at his thought, grin obvious without Jim having to look.

 

Jim huffs a laugh. “Ugly Stick it is.”

 

The kaiju before them lets out a roar, the shockwave of sound rippling through the water and vibrating around their jaeger.

 

“Right back at ya.” Bones grumbles.

 

The kaiju hasn't moved to engage them yet, it remains hovering by the rift like it's analyzing them, and just when it couldn't get any uglier, six strange tentacles sprout from it's walrus-like torso.

 

They both let out a simultaneous “ _Ewww_.”

 

“Plasma cannon lock, please, for the love of god.” Bones growls, bringing his left arm up to power up the gun. It locks and then they're blasting the kaiju, but it's fast despite its size and just barely dodges the attack. The reef a ways behind it lights up as the hit lands, the ocean floor rumbling and quaking beneath them.

 

Ugly Stick roars again and uses its webbed feet to swim swiftly towards them. Jim and Bones put their arms out and brace themselves, catching the kaiju by its thick arms and spinning with the momentum so they end up on top of the kaiju when they hit the ocean floor.

 

Unfortunately, its tentacles remain free and batter the jaeger, shaking Jim and Bones in their motion rigs.

 

“I'm starting to get sea sick, Jim.” Bones warbles out.

 

Jim grits his teeth and drives the jaeger's right knee into the kaiju's mid-section hard.

 

Ugly Stick lets out a loud gargle, but freezes for a moment like the blow stunned it.

 

Jim wastes no time activating the chain-sword and then they're both putting their muscles into slicing definitively through all six tentacles. “There, that takes care of tha- _whoa!_ ”

 

The kaiju shoots out from under them as soon as the tentacles are chopped, its angry scream echoing through the water around them, luminescent blue blood trailing away from behind it.

 

“Shit, it's headed for Precog.” Bones says in alarm.

 

They won't make it in time, the kaiju is too fast, but luckily Tai Xiong intercepts it before it gets too close.

 

“Keep it up, guys. We're 600 meters and closing!” Lizzie comms over.

 

The Enterprise gets to the scuffle between Tai Xiong and Ugly Stick a minute too late as its massive jaws clamp around the head of the suit and crumple it inwards. The torso explodes beneath the kaiju, but it hardly seems to affect Ugly Stick as it simply pushes the inactive suit away to lay broken on the ocean floor.

 

Jim and Bones both yell angrily, stabbing the sword through Ugly Stick's back before it can turn around to attack them.

 

“Enterprise, behind you!! Heng Huo is down and their kaiju is still alive!” Gary yells.

 

Jim curses with Bones before they're yanking their sword from Ugly Stick's writhing body and swinging it around to slash at the incoming snake-like kaiju. They land a lucky strike and take off its front left arm.

 

It screeches and whips away but that's all the time Ugly Stick needed to head butt them across the reef.

 

Bones yells out as they're jostled painfully, Jim just managing to swallow his cry so he can remain focused on what's happening around them.

 

“Oh my god...” Lizzie gasps. “There's another kaiju coming out of the rift.”

 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Bones hisses as he and Jim right their jaeger only to be rammed right back down by Ugly Stick.

 

“Enterprise- _agghhhh!_ ”

 

Gary's voice is cut off by a loud crunching of metal, Lizzie yelling at him to activate the burners.

 

“We-we're being constricted! That fucking snake bastard just wrapped around us tight. We're, _ugh_ , sitting ducks! Burners non-responsive, fuck!”

 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Jim bites out, their jaeger grappling with the massive bulk of Ugly Stick and getting nowhere.

 

The kaiju suddenly rears back a moment later, mouth open and ready to clamp around their left shoulder. Bones screams in pain as his brain hemisphere is fed the brunt of the neural stimulation. Jim groans in sympathy as he drives the sword into the kaiju's side, but not before it forces their entire left arm off.

 

“Goddamnit!” Bones cries, trying to help Jim drive the sword deeper into the kaiju as the HUD lights up with red warnings for critical damage.

 

Ugly Stick roars and tears away from them once again, the sword in so deep that it's ripped off the jaeger. It does a swift circle and then it's pounding them into a shallow trench before relentlessly swimming off again to no doubt help its kaiju buddies take down Precog, sword in its side or not.

 

“Come on, Bones, come on.” Jim pants, dragging them from the trench. Bones is still groaning next to him, but he's putting his all into helping Jim move the jaeger.

 

“This does nae look good, Enterprise. Precog is stuck in place with two kaiju headed for 'em!”

 

“We're trying, Scotty!” Bones grounds out in desperation.

 

A dark weight is settling in both of them, a beginning to something distinctly hopeless.

 

“Jim...Leonard...” Gary comms over to them gravely. “This is your mission now. We... we're gonna have to detonate. They're converging and this will clear a path for you. Enterprise is analog so-”

 

“NO!” Jim yells angrily. “That's not an option, Gary! Just hold on!”

 

“It's the _only_ option! Three live kaiju, two 5's and a 4, Jim! We don't have enough fire power.”

 

“Please, man, don't do this. We have you in our sights.” Jim begs, panting as he tries to push their jaeger faster toward the dark scene ahead of them.

 

“Stay back, Jim! Don't get in the blast radius! It's too late, we've already activated our payload.”

 

“Damn it, Gary!” Bones yells this time, frustration and sorrow coursing through their connection.

 

“Thank you guys, for everything... Put an end to this, okay? I know you can do it. Pieces of these giant bastards are going to be lying all over the place. Grab one and get to the rift, understand?”

 

Jim swears colorfully, railing against Bones through their connection when he forces them to stop the movement of their jaeger. _The payload is already active, Jim,_ Bones warns him helplessly.

 

“See you on the other side, boys. Hopefully a long time from now.” Lizzie comms over, voice gentle and loving.

 

And then the ocean before them is lighting up, casting stark shadows behind the converging kaiju until even that is swallowed in light.

 

The wall of the blast surges toward them and they're forced to drop low into another shallow trench, the water sucking at them as it's pulled over and away.

 

Jim can't hold back the few quiet sobs that wrack his chest, Bones there in his mind, shushing him and holding him together.

 

They have to brace again as the displaced water rushes back and then everything is eerily silent.

 

“Jim?! Len?? Are ye alright?” Scotty comms suddenly, sounding panicked.

 

“We're okay, Scotty.” Bones replies hoarsely.

 

“Precog detonated... We're going to have to finish the mission.” Jim says shakily, but he knows Bones can feel the strength and determination in him.

 

“What a fuckin' nightmare,” Scotty groans. “Do what you have to, Jim, but you boys better clear out of there before Enterprise self-destructs.”

 

They steer the Enterprise into the wreckage of the blast, bright blue blood floating in blobs around them, scrap metal and wires littering the rocky bottom. Kaiju parts are plentiful further out from the area and they turn in surprise when the HUD pings on a life sign near the edge of the rift.

 

“What the fuck, how is that thing not dead?” Bones growls in disbelief, zooming the screen in on the bloodied, nearly limbless mass of Ugly Stick wriggling across the ground.

 

“It might as well be,” Jim says in disgust. It wouldn't be able to defend itself with the state it was in. They advance on it and come to stand before the mangled monster still pathetically trying to move around. “Okay, Bones. We get into that rift, set the self-destruct sequence, and then we're out of there.”

 

“Okay-” Bones is cut off when they're suddenly smashed into from behind, a telling screech tearing through the water.

 

“These fuckers are really starting to piss me off!” Bones hollers, both of them using the arm they have left to pry off the clawed hand hooked around into the chest of their jaeger.

 

“Well, good news is we're falling right into the breach.” Jim grunts, putting all his muscles into further dislodging the kaiju as strange electricity crackles spastically on their HUD.

 

“Guess those Category 5's take nuke attacks better than most, our fuckin' luck.” Bones hisses, both he and Jim panting in their struggle.

 

“Activate rear thrusters!” Jim shouts suddenly.

 

The kaiju gives an awful scream as the thrusters power on and burn through its torso. It's forced to let go of them, but not before its tail whips around and slashes across the back of their jaeger, the HUD before them lighting up with even more critical readings.

 

Jim can't help watching in awe as the kaiju falls lifelessly down past them, the atmosphere an ethereal bright blue and nothing like space, which Jim had always envisioned. It's almost like they're in an actual throat, the rift walls moving like one giant muscle, that same strange electricity zapping all around the outside of their jaegar.

 

“Jim! Leonard's oxygen... ine was... mpromised! Yours, too, but...” Scotty comes through, though it's faint and full of static, and Jim never does get the rest.

 

He whips his head over to Bones and sees the other pilot struggling to breathe. “Shit, Bones!”

 

Bones doesn't respond, his eyes are starting to close, hands fluttering at his sides, the connection between them growing faint.

 

Jim curses and rips his oxygen line out, then rips out Bones' and replaces it with his own. “Looks like I gotta go it alone for now, Bones.” Jim whispers, lovingly watching as Bones readings improve. “I'll see you in a little bit.”

 

He turns away and activates Bones' escape pod, the motion rig raising the other pilot up and into his escape pod. Their connection is completely severed as the escape pod is ejected and Jim gasps as he feels the familiar weight of the jaeger on both of his brain hemispheres. It takes him a moment to shy away from falling into a bad memory, and he just manages. Then he's hurriedly snapping on the self-destruct sequence, except, of course, nothing can go smoothly as the HUD blindingly lets him know that he's going to have to manually activate the self-destruct as the automatic program is compromised.

 

By now, he's starting to feel the lack of oxygen and he pulls his helmet off in frustration, severing the link with the jaeger completely since he no longer needs to control it. He detaches from the motion rig and stumbles tiredly to the manual override in the floor behind the conn pod.

 

He falls to his knees with a groan and has to grip at the latch a couple times before he can get a hold of it and turn it to open the compartment.

 

He breaths raggedly, vision getting a bit foggy around the edges, and his limbs feel like they're surrounded by molasses. “Fuck,” He rasps weakly, smacking at the panel. He finally gets his fingers to cooperate and curl around the plunger, then he's turning that and slamming it inwards.

 

“Self-destruct sequence manually activated. Detonation in t-minus... 60 seconds... 59 seconds...” The computer starts to chime, letting him know about each precious second ticking away.

 

Jim stumbles to his feet and grabs onto the overhead motion rig bars to help himself lock back into the foot stir-ups.

 

Dimly, he acknowledges that he needs to activate the escape pod and he sees his left arm flail out to hit the right buttons. He can faintly hear his short, swift breaths, body desperately trying to get oxygen in, and as his eyes trail listlessly to the HUD, he sees their world, the kaiju.

 

He sees ugly, jagged mountains and menacing, tar-black clouds. It looks like a horrible, infinitely dark place but then the view is taken away as he's being lifted up, up, up...

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Leonard comes to with a jolt, chest heaving for breath. His hands immediately go up to start swimming because all he sees is the ocean pressing in on the window to his escape pod. It takes him a moment just to figure that out, and when he does, the dread follows on its heels. Jim had ejected him! Jim had... Jim...

 

The light outside is growing brighter as he rises to the surface, but he feels stuck back on the Enterprise, beside Jim. He won't let himself leave Jim in that jaeger alone... and damn it, if Jim doesn't know what's good for him, he better be one step behind in his own pod.

 

Tears sting at his eyes, but he forces them back, refuses to cry over something he isn't even sure of yet.

 

It's agonizing waiting to hit the surface, so when he does and the lid shoots off into the water, he's immediately up and wedging himself out to stand. He throws his helmet off, eyes frantically scanning the water, dimly aware of Scotty talking excitedly about the rift's collapse from the escape pod comm. When minutes go by with no second pod in sight, he finally addresses the comm. “ _Where the hell is Jim?_ ” He demands, voice hoarse and raw with emotion.

 

“Oi, I've been tryin' to tell ye. We lost his signal after ye came up,” Leonard's chest aches terribly, “but then we got a reading a bit ago. He should be coming up any minute.” A relieved sob escapes unbidden and that's of course when Scotty has to go on. “We're no gettin' any life signs, though. It might just be a suit malfunction so-” That's all he processes because Jim's pod bursts up to the surface and Leonard is diving into the water.

 

He swims like mad and heaves himself onto Jim's pod, scrabbling to straddle it, the lid already disengaged. He has to pause at the sight of Jim's still features, a tsunami wave of fear and ' _no, no, no_ ' crippling his ability to move until his medic training kicks in and he levers Jim up. He puts fingertips to the blond's carotid pulse in the same moment that he leans his ear to Jim's mouth to check for breath.

 

Leonard almost feels like throwing up in relief when he feels the strong beat beneath his fingers and the gentle puffs of breath at his ear. When he pulls back, his heart leaps with joy at drowsy baby blues staring back at him.

 

“Bones?” Jim murmurs in disbelief.

 

Leonard grins bright and laughs once. “Yeah, Jim. You did it... my god, you did it.”

 

Jim grins tiredly. “We did it.”

 

Leonard snorts and cups Jim's jaw to bring him into a kiss. “I love you, you damn fool,” he growls against the blond's mouth.

 

He feels Jim's smile and kisses him harder.

 

“I love you, too, Bones.” Jim whispers when Leonard finally lets them part.

 

“Don't you ever do that again,” he scolds with raw emotion, giving the blond a shake.

 

Jim looks at him apologetically. “I don't plan on it.”

 

They stay there, holding onto each other as the sound of helicopters draw closer to take them back home, to take them back to a new life. A life not won easily or without infinite heart-ache, but at least now they can rebuild and make time to remember all those they lost.

 

If the Jaeger Program did anything, it made it clear to everyone that there is strength in numbers, that two is better than one.

 

That love won this fight, as it always will.


End file.
